plagiarist

Moving Right Along - from Plagiarist to...

2006-09-05T09:00:00.000-04:00

Plagiarist is moving, and I hope you'll come with me to its new location.

Over the past year and a half, I've really enjoyed doing this blog thing, but have decided that I want to move it in a different direction. I want to continue everything I've done over here - links and essays that I think are fun and interesting for some reason - but I also want to get a bit more personal. I want to be able to use the site to help promote my various performance-based activities (like my gigs with Mike or my commercials and plays). I want to bitch about my wife and family. That sort of thing.

I also want to be able to host lots of mp3s and other files without relying on somebody else's server or bandwidth. (Yup, that's right, I want to pay for it all on my own.) So all these things have convinced me that it's time for a change.

I want to give a thank-you to those who have posted on Plagiarist's behalf. A little thank-you goes to Z and Krischelle as they totally abandoned the blog ages ago. :) Big thanks goes to Mike for posting some really great stuff here either because he felt it belonged on this blog, or because he posted it accidentally here instead of Down With Snark! and was too lazy to change it. And the biggest thanks of all goes to Brian, who kept Plagiarist alive many times when I was too lazy to post anything. Brian, I'm not saying I understood the appeal of half the shit you posted, but I appreciate you posting it nonetheless. :)

There is a discussion forum at the new location, and I hope that both of you will use it to continue to post things you think are interesting but are too lame for your own blogs. :)

So please join me over at my new website, jasonhare.com, and if you are one of the people that has been kind enough to link to Plagiarist, please update your links. I appreciate your stopping by and hope you'll continue to do so.

Thanks, and see you over at the new site!

Your Studio And You

2006-09-01T17:32:00.000-04:00

Via digg comes this excellent video, which for some reason I've not heard of before. Your Studio And You, so sayeth Wiki, was the first Hollywood project by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Commissioned by David Zucker, the duo created a mock educational film about Universal Studios following its take-over by Seagram.

Not bad for two douchebags without a script, huh?

The Fire Dies

2006-08-30T15:23:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I just had to use that title.

Via NickelCreek.com:

Dearest Listener,

After seven years of extensive touring in support of three records (seventeen years as a band), we've decided to take a break of indefinite length at the end of 2007 to preserve the environment we've sought so hard to create and to pursue other interests. It has been a pleasure to write, record, and perform for you through the years and we'd like to heartily thank you for your invaluable contribution to our musical lives.

Yours,

Nickel Creek
(Sean, Sara, and Chris)

Huh.

I find it a little odd to announce a breakup occurring over 12 months from now, although I suppose they have various business commitments until then, and it's a damn good way to increase ticket sales.

I saw NC with Mike at Bowery Ballroom once. They played brilliantly, but I found I much preferred their bluegrass leanings to their poppier songs. I heard a few tracks from their last album, Why Should The Fire Die?, but based on ehat I heard, never bothered to buy it.

There's much, much more detailed info on their breakup at Billboard.

Why I like Iceland

2006-08-29T12:10:00.000-04:00

This video by Nylon who are from Iceland. They are climbing the British Pop Charts. It's nice to have some music from there that isn't Bjork or Sigur Ros.

But this is why I like Iceland, first, the girls there aren't so hard on the eyes. Second they shot this while travelling all over Iceland.

Skogafoss is one of the locations! Iceland what a beautiful country!

I owe you a post with content...

2006-08-23T18:14:00.000-04:00

...or at least some links.

I know that I've been lax in updating lately. I promise it's for a good reason. However, I have come across a few links lately that I wanted to share, so enjoy.

Mike linked to this in one of his posts, and I think I may have actually mentioned it before: Worth1000.com has some of the best freaking photoshop work I've ever seen. I know, I'm probably late on the bandwagon here, but I have had a great time checking out a number of their contests, specifically the Fountain of Age ones mentioned on Kottke.

While listening to On The Media last weekend, I heard an interview with journalist Eric D. Snider, regarding an essay he wrote entitled "I Was A Junket Whore." He pretty much exposes the big-budget movie press junket for what it is: an opportunity for the studio to pamper "journalists" into providing a positive review. I have a few issues with Snider's own ethical code for a few different reasons, but other than taking a cheap-shot about Maggie Gyllenhaal's face, it's really not relevant to this article. Still, you'll enjoy reading Snider's humorous piece, as he bites the hand that ~~feeds~~ fed him. Note: Snider has now been banned from attending any future Paramount screenings, as well as screenings from a few other studios.

Raz sent me this article last week, about how "retarded people love them some Huey Lewis." That's a direct quote. Sounds offensive, right? Read the article. As Raz mentioned, the article had the potential to make both Huey Lewis and retarded people look bad, but somehow avoids doing either.

Stereogum reports on a new take on a Shakespeare fave: Much Adoobie Brothers About Nothing. I have no doubt in my mind that as much as this sounds awesome, it probably really sucks. That being said, if it weren't in Santa Monica, I would have gone to see it already. Twice.

Finally, via...I can't remember who...a whole bunch of Beatles soul covers. Awesome.

Yes, it's true, I feel pretty.

2006-08-22T10:36:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Mike, for finding that Brandweek article. I have no idea why they decided to use that screenshot, but hey, I'm not complaining.

Please excuse what must seem like sheer egotism here. I'm trying to keep track of the media hype around this commercial right now (which surely will not last past the US Open), so I'm going to try and post some links - mainly for my own reference.

Nike website with commercial - click on upper right, then click at left to see the TV spot. Can anybody figure out how to save the high-quality version? It's an embedded flash file and I can't seem to track it down.

YouTube version of commercial

Brandweek article

The production company, Smuggler, has some behind-the-scenes pics on their website. However, they seem to block direct access to them, and navigation to the pics themselves from the main site isn't easy. Here are the pics directly - me rehearsing with her stand-in (poor girl, on her feet all day and doesn't even get into the commercial), and just generally looking like a putz.

More to come, perhaps...unfortunately for you. :)

He Feels Pretty, Oh So Pretty

2006-08-21T22:38:00.000-04:00

Yes, that's our favorite thespian next to Miss Sharapova. Isn't that a great face?

Everyone say congrats, and please post caption suggestions in the comments. I'll go with: "Mah wife, she nice...she die in ze field"

Follow the Bouncing Meme - Favorite Songs

2006-08-11T16:11:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Mike. I was hesitant to do this because I feel like it very easily becomes a "ooh, look at how my favorite [insert artist here] song is so OBSCURE!" thing, but it was actually quite fun.

1. Favorite Beatles song: Golden Slumbers Medley (Yes, I consider this all one song)
2. Favorite Rolling Stones song: Bitch
3. Favorite Doors song: Roadhouse Blues
4. Favorite Bob Dylan song: Ballad In Plain D
5. Favorite Led Zeppelin song: Black Dog
6. TV Theme Song: Growing Pains
7. Favorite Prince Song: Sexy MF
8. Favorite Madonna Song: Promise To Try
9. Favorite Michael Jackson Song: Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
10. Favorite Queen Song: Really? I have to pick ONE? Fuck it, this is my blog. From the 70s: Long Away. From post-70s: The Show Must Go On
11. Favorite Motorhead Song: n/a
12. Favorite Ozzy Song: n/a
13. Favorite Public Enemy Song: Fight The Power
14. Favorite Song from a cartoon: All In The Family parody from The Simpsons, "Lisa's Sax"
15. Favorite Bruce Springsteen song: ~~Sixth~~ Tenth Avenue Freezeout (fuck you, Mike, it's not as bad as you)
16. Favorite Depeche Mode song: Enjoy The Silence
17. Favorite Cure song: Love Song
18. Favorite song that most of your friends haven't heard: Rain by Patty Griffin
19. Favorite Smiths song: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
20. Favorite Beastie Boys song: Shake Your Rump
21. Favorite Clash song: Train in Vain
22. Favorite Police song: I Burn For You
23. Favorite Eurythmics song: Would I Lie To You
24. Favorite Beach Boys song: Our Prayer
25. Favorite Cyndi Lauper song: All Through The Night
26. Favorite song from a movie: Shooting For The Moon by Amy Holland, from Teen Wolf
27. Favorite Duran Duran song: Ordinary World, just because it drives Mike insane
28. Favorite Peter Tosh song: n/a
29. Favorite Johnny Cash song: Hurt
30. Favorite song from an 80's one hit wonder: Electric Blue by Icehouse
31. Favorite song from a video game: Super Mario theme
32. Favorite Kinks song: Picture Book
33. Favorite Genesis song: Firth of Fifth
34. Favorite Thin Lizzy song: n/a
35. Favorite INXS song: Never Tear Us Apart
36. Favorite Weird Al song: You Don't Love Me Anymore
37. Favorite Peter Gabriel song: Big Time
38. Favorite John Lennon song: Jealous Guy
39. Favorite Pink Floyd song: Shine On You Crazy Diamond
40. Favorite cover song: Let's Get It On by Shannon Lawson
41. Favorite White Stripes: The Hardest Button to Button
42. Favorite dance song: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by Jamiroquai
43. Favorite U2 song: Where The Streets Have No Name
44. Favorite song from an actor turned musician: My God by Steven Seagal
45. Favorite disco song: Get Up and Boogie by The Silver Connection
46. Favorite Power Ballad: When I See You Smile, Bad English
47. Favorite Guns N' Roses song: Sweet Child O'Mine
48. Favorite The Who song: Baba O'Riley
49. Favorite Elton John song: Funeral For A Friend/Love Lies Bleeding
50. Favorite song, period: Quadrophenia by The Who, from (duh) Quadrophenia

I'm a little pissed I wasn't able to fit "What A Fool Believes" on here.

If you'd like to play along, Mike has the blank list.

A Night with Harry, Carrie, and Garp

2006-08-11T13:18:00.000-04:00

I wish I got this sooner....

I went to this charity event the the other week. It was fun to see Stephen King read the original story that was told by the Storyteller in Stand By Me and he says, "It's the R Rated version." John Irving read a christmas tale, and JK Rowling, she read from the latest book. After the readings they took 12 questions answered by the authors. People seem to ask Stephen King, "What scares you?" all the time and they wasted this opporutnity to ask him it yet again.

New York, NY – August 9th, 2006 -- For those book lovers and fans world-wide who could not attend the star-studded literary event at Radio City Music Hall last week, “AN EVENING WITH HARRY, CARRIE & GARP” will now be available to watch free of charge in its entirety for two days only. On Thursday, August 10 and Friday, August 11 MSN will stream the event at http://video.msn.com, and beginning on Saturday, August 12 until the end of the month, highlights will be available on demand. MSN will enable viewers to make contributions to The Haven Foundation and Doctors Without Borders.

Patience, Young Padawans

2006-08-08T12:30:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a while since I've updated Plagiarist. It's not because I'm ignoring you. I promise. I'm working on some big blog-related things, just haven't been able to put them into action yet, but I'm hoping to complete them very soon.

In the meantime, here's what you can do to pass the time.

Check out DWS' latest installment of Guitarists Who Have Influenced Him

Check out Jefito's recent Idiot's Guides. Even if the mp3s aren't up anymore, you'll learn more than you ever thought you needed to know about Journey, TMBG, and Chicago.

Download a couple of Muppet mp3s from Domino Rally. To quote Steve, "If you can listen to [Halfway Down The Stairs] without even the slightest hint of emotion, you have a heart of stone."

Watch this clip, which caused me to spew water all over my desk.

Watch this clip, which just basically disturbed me more than anything else.

Watch the latest episode of Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager.

Get a semi-sorta-personalized message promoting Snakes on a Muthafuckin' Plane from Samuel L. Jackson. Beware, though - it doesn't always work. Calling Z and Adam went fine, but my calls to Ryan, Mike, Jess and myself didn't go through - and once you call a number once, you apparently can't call it again. Still, a great idea for a promotion.

I'll be back soon. Promise!

Hey, What Happened to the Color?

2006-07-27T11:45:00.000-04:00

Via Kottke via Waxy via AICN (is all this attribution really frickin' necessary?), here are two animated storyboards from the upcoming Simpsons Movie.

Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager

2006-07-20T09:49:00.000-04:00

I went onto YouTube this morning looking for Tommy Emmanuel clips and found this on the front page. I was skeptical, but once I saw it was a Channel 101 production, I decided to give it a shot. You should too. It's hysterical, and well-produced.

If you can't get to YouTube, it's also available on the Channel 101 website.

YouTube Rights spat

2006-07-19T11:36:00.000-04:00

Apparently I've stumbled across a spat of YouTube community members going back and forth about free speech and the like, it goes on back and forth with people actually responding via video monologue. An interesting way to debate since one of the problems with debating in forums is that it is a text only medium there is no opportunity for voice inflection and body language. ZenArcher tells everyone to read the Terms of Use since you agree to them before being a community membmer.

One member actually thought that someone wouldn't be able to read the TOU due to blindness, he provides the service by reading it aloud to everyone. I thought it was boring to read, it is even more boring to listen to.
One member put together a bit more interesting and homorous approach to YouTube rights. The only oddity is that I have not been able to find the root, the origin, the first video that ZenArcher is referring to.

Personally, I much prefer to read the arguments than listen to or watch, because I find myself distracted or prejudiced by the voice or appearance of the speaker. I guess, we'll have more people ever so confuzzled because a talking head told me so, it must be true.

Ninja Chipmunk vs.Cat

2006-07-18T15:46:00.000-04:00

Incredible Ninja Action!!!

How AOL Attempts To Retain

2006-07-18T12:53:00.000-04:00

This is creepy, chilling, dirty and awesome all at the same time.

AOL Retention Manual Revealed (Consumerist)

Build Your Own iPod Hi-Fi

2006-07-15T10:13:00.000-04:00

Australian Simon Clement built his own iPod Hi-Fi from a pair of old classic Mac cases and ceiling speakers. The result looks remarkable.

He's posted instructions for building your own on Flickr. He writes:

"Didn’t look like anyone was going to buy me an iPod Hi-Fi. Set to work on a couple of MacPlus cases and so the iPod Hi-Fi mini was born."

Just seems like such irony the diminutive size of both items when years ago they would both be quite large. Maybe one day people will take the lifesaver iMacs and put in flashing LEDs like cellphones to dance with the music. Or use flat speakers in the lamp style iMacs to create thin walls of sound.

House Math

2006-07-13T14:01:00.000-04:00

From the HouseMath website...

owww... my head is starting to hurt...(in order to make your own head hurt read the HouseMath Analysis Audit page.)

I am not a "real estate professional." I am a 38-year old retired software geek who now invests for a living and is going through the ordeals of buying an apartment in New York City. Not just a computer nerd, I have an MBA from U.C. Berkeley and have gained some practical finance experience getting two of my companies funded back in Silicon Valley. I have, in the past, purchased two homes -- one in San Francisco and one in Seattle. I want to outline the mathematics I used in detail so that any errors in logic may be uncovered by a meticulous reader.

Please see these numbers come to life on HouseMath the site.

Z does this make any sense to you???

Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello & Stephen Colbert Tumbling

2006-07-12T11:42:00.000-04:00

This video was too freaking awesome not to share.

Billy Joel & His Record Label

2006-07-10T11:42:00.000-04:00

From a great Times Online article, "Billy's 88 Ways to Woo a Goddess:"

Once in a while he takes to the road and bashes out a set of his most well-loved songs. But, save for a live CD, entitled 12 Gardens, and another compilation (this time entitled Piano Man) there’s nothing new to promote.

Joel is visibly amused by the quandary in which this leaves his record company. When he first served notice of his withdrawal from the recording process, Columbia’s response was disbelief. “Actually, they thought I was just negotiating — and this was the start-off point.”

Since then, Joel’s profile has been kept high by a procession of compilations. “It’s ridiculous,” he says, “If it’s not The Ultimate Billy Joel, it’s The Essential Billy Joel or Really and Truly the Very Best of Billy Joel." The lion’s share of his disdain though, is reserved for My Lives, the 2005 box set that gathered together four CDs of outtakes spanning his entire career. “The idea as it was presented to me was: ‘OK, we’re going to take everything you left on the cutting room floor, we’re going to put it in a box and charge people 50 bucks.’

“It’s not like I had a choice — they own it all. I read in the liner notes that I personally ‘curated’ all this stuff, which is a crock of s***. I didn’t curate a single thing.”

The Animated Gif Ghosbusters (Gifbusters?)

2006-07-07T14:34:00.000-04:00

Kottke has this link up on his blog, and he claims that it's the entire movie. I don't remember all of Ghostbusters well enough to verify. Z, I'm counting on you.

The Entire Ghostbusters Movie As An Animated Gif (found here)

Swedish Piracy Insurance!

2006-06-29T15:11:00.000-04:00

Boing Boing: P2P insurer will pay your fines if RIAA sues: $19/year!

Not that anyone I know would ever pirate music, I still thought it would be interesting to discuss this Boing Boing post. It links to a Swedish language website, which claims to offer "insurance" against any and all RIAA levied fines and court costs for P2P file sharing for the bargain price of 19 bucks a year. You even get a t-shirt if the RIAA sues you (hopefully a t-shirt in Swedish).

Sweet deal for all involved right? If all of the 7-10 million people on the p2p networks at a given moment ante up, that's beaucoup bucks for the entrepreneurial Swedes. Plus, the RIAA simply can't sue everyone who pirates music. Stretching their legal department to it's limits they are only managing a couple thousand suits a year. Paying 19 bucks to some Swedish people beats paying the record industry 3-5000 dollars right?

For the sake of this post, I am going to assume that it is possible to insure people for fines and lawsuits caused by their illegal activities (not entirely sure about that) and that the Swedes in question are noble Swedes, forthright and true, and not a bunch of clever Swedish teenagers out to scam a bunch of stupid American teenagers out of 20 bucks (which is almost unquestionably the case). Let's assume these people really want to set this up as a business model and fully intend to stand behind each duly filed insurance claim for everyone sued by the RIAA who anted up.

I love this idea because it is an interesting way to illustrate the pervasiveness of file sharing and the problems with trying to regulate or stop it from occurring. Insurance only works if you have an enormous number of people paying in and
a relatively low risk of the insured circumstances occurring. If one in every 5 houses burnt down every year, Fire Insurance would not work. Isn't it amazing to realize that p2p piracy, an "illegal" "criminal" act, fits perfectly into the parameters of insurability? Millions upon millions of people do it, and at most only a few thousand of them (far less than 1%) are going to get dinged by the RIAA in a given year.

I do not claim to have all the answers w/r/t the piracy issue, I don't think there should be unchecked piracy of any and all media (I would however, support a MASSIVELY reduced copyright term and a healthy, growing, public domain). If enough people engage in an activity that it makes sense for said people to buy insurance against lawsuits, maybe lawsuits aren't the best way to go about curtailing said activity.

Personally I think nothing is going to change over the next 5-10 years, people will use p2p and torrent networks with increasing regularity, sharing music, films and all other media. The RIAA/MPAA will continue to sue their own customers in what amounts to a futile gesture (and a lucrative little side business: spend 400 dollars in legal fees, collect 5K in fines, gotta love those margins) and sue the pants off of any company stupid enough to try and make money from P2P software under the "inducement" theory of liability codified in the Grokster decision handed down last year. They will also continue to lobby Congress and use their pet senators to try and pass ridiculous, unenforceable, occasionally unconstitutional statutes that make it a felony for anyone to possess or view any media without paying a large corporation for the privilege. One or two of these laws will probably pass, and one or two extremely unlucky people will be sent to jail under them. Token convictions, but try telling them that.

Eventually, those in charge of media companies will accept the realities of the world in which they operate, and try and treat P2P, YouTube and the rest as necessary evils, and maybe some of them will be clever enough to use them to their advantage. I think there's plenty of money to go around for these companies without perverting IP law and trying to turn the internet into a crippled television with a keyboard attached to it. In the meantime though, there's always Swedish Piracy Insurance. If anyone buys in, please let us know in the comments.

Madonna Sucks At Guitar

2006-06-29T14:06:00.000-04:00

From Kelefa Sanneh's review of last night's Madonna concert in the New York Times:

The most indigestible moments are still the ones in which Madonna is burdened with something more inhibiting than a saddle: a guitar. Madonna with a guitar is generally the concert equivalent of cholesterol: it clogs the aisles with otherwise faithful fans who suddenly remember they have to buy
a T-shirt, or use the rest room, or track down one of those beer mugs with the pretzel rod in the handle.

Daaaaag, yo. You gotta be quite the shitty guitarist to be compared to CHOLESTEROL. Even I haven't been compared to cholesterol. (I was compared to The Diabetes.)

I now present, for your amusement, pictures of Madonna trying to play guitar and look badass at the same time, and, in the process, achieving neither.

Keith Moon and Steve Martin

2006-06-29T09:04:00.000-04:00

I've only seen a few clips of this before, from the amazing Who documentary The Kids Are Alright. This is the first time I've seen the whole thing. The quality's not great, but you get the point.

From the 1977 TV special Ten Years of Rolling Stone. The ending definitely takes Steve Martin by surprise.

All Hail Ken Jennings...

2006-06-28T16:11:00.000-04:00

...both smarter and funnier than you.

Based on recommendations from a few blogs (Kottke, Waxy), I checked out Jeopardy Mega-Winner Ken Jenning's website. And, like Waxy says, he's funny! I suggest starting with the FAQ and working your way out from there. And get a job, hippie.

Reason #7,342 to Love The Internet

2006-06-27T13:11:00.000-04:00

A blog dedicated to cats that look like Hitler

A little sauna after the slopes

2006-06-27T10:28:00.000-04:00

Note: I've removed the embedded player as it seems to start automatically, even with Brian changing some of the settings. The clip Brian mentions is here. - JH

I've been fortunate to go to Finland the origin of the sauna. Please note that when you go to a sauna with a Finn, you are expected to be there sans clothing and no towel.

Stevie Nicks Tortures American Troops

2006-06-23T15:44:00.000-04:00

From Contact Music:

Singer STEVE NICKS is doing her part to support US troops by donating hundreds of iPods to soldiers wounded in Iraq. The former FLEETWOOD MAC star regularly visits soldiers at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. She explains, "I refuse to be pulled into the politics of war. But once these soldiers sign up, go to war and come back to a hospital, I will do whatever it takes to make them better." Nicks has provided iPods loaded with her music, along with fellow artists AEROSMITH and ELVIS PRESLEY.

Let me ask you this: if you were a wounded soldier, would hearing Stevie Nicks' voice make you feel better? Or make you long for the swift hand of death?

EXTREME HAMMOCK

2006-06-23T12:30:00.000-04:00

Close but no guitar!

2006-06-23T11:41:00.000-04:00

US Air Guitar finalist goes on to Finland for the World Championship!

The competition proved stiff as last year's US Champion didn't even make this year's finals. In the finals, the competitors played to Metallica's "Enter Sandman," a song that didn't prove to be as easy as it seemed. In the end, it those with insane stage antics proved to score higher with the judges as Hot Lixx Hulahan (aka Craig Billmeier) from San Francisco win the competition by climbing onto the balcony and performed on the balcony's railing. The results were contested by the judges, who thought that William Ocean (aka Andrew Litz) from New York should have also won or at least been awarded an "air off". In the end though, Hot Lixx was given the crown of the 2006 US Air Guitar Champion.

Welcome him to the Jungle!

2006-06-23T08:53:00.000-04:00

David Lee Roth on the Tonight Show

I don't know what to say about this. The bluegrass version of "Jump" isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, and David Lee Roth's voice actually sounds pretty good. But there's something about his performance that's making me cringe. Is it his smile?

Family Guy Take on Me

2006-06-22T17:43:00.000-04:00

Sweatin' To The Showtunes

2006-06-16T15:48:00.000-04:00

So although you probably would never guess it by looking at me, I am, indeed, a regular visitor to the gym. I am the one with the bad hair (because I'm usually there at 6 AM), the sweaty t-shirt, and a lame-ass fanny pack that holds my ghetto old-school, 7 pound iPod. But I don't care because I'm working out and listening to my music.

Normally, I listen to Coverville, the best podcast in the world, but since Coverville's episode production has slowed down considerably over the past month, I needed something else to keep me goin'. So I downloaded Foxy's CardioShowtune mix.

Now, despite my theatre/musical theatre background and the fact that Mike would term me as "~~a little bit~~ pretty gay," I am not a real showtune fan. I enjoy them when I hear them live, but in most instances, the joy doesn't carry back to my stereo. (Exceptions: The Who's Tommy (duh) and Avenue Q). So I was skeptical in downloading Foxy's mix, but also desperate for music to keep me going through my workout.

I listened to CardioShowtune last night and can tell you two things:

1) This mix is awesome.
2) This mix is the gayest thing I have ever listened to.

It started out rather innocently, with me groovin' to "Aquarius," "One Night in Bangkok" and even some rockin' Who songs (Foxy even used the original Who versions for two of 'em). Then, I was shocked and disturbed to find out that I knew most of the words to "Cool Rider" from Grease 2 (for which I blame Michele). I was tearing up during "Meadowlark," and by the time I got to "Don't Rain On My Parade" (which I know quite well from my work on Claymont), I was checking out other guys' asses. This mix is not for the weak.

Do yourself a favor and download CardioShowtune. And what the hell, grab CardioCowbell while you're at it. And get down with your bad, gay self. Give thanks to Foxy, who is one of the few music geeks I know who can put together a truly effective mix in this post-cassette era.

Looks Like The Who Are Doing It Right

2006-06-16T14:01:00.000-04:00

The Who are about to embark on a year-long tour, taking them to Europe, the US and beyond. As a crazy, nutty Who fan, it seems hard to believe that 12 years ago, it seemed unlikely that Pete and Roger would ever even speak to each other again.

Since 1994:

The Who performed Quadrophenia in its entirety
Pete Townshend picked up an electric guitar again
Pete Townshend looked like he was actually enjoying himself
The Who went back down to a 5-piece (they're at 6 now, with Simon)
John Entwistle died on the eve of their 2002 tour
They pulled out songs we never thought we'd hear live again, like "Relay" and "Another Tricky Day"
They released all of their live shows on CD
They recorded, released and performed two new songs

Here's what we have to look forward to this year:

A return to Leeds, tonight (read Pete's thoughts)
Live webcasting before, during and after shows, featuring Rachel Fuller and a variety of guests, including Pete stopping in and playing acoustic rarities
A new album The Glass Household, recorded and in-the-can, released in September, and the mini-opera Wire And Glass released in June

And, announced today, The Who Encore Series 2006: not only CDs of every show, but full DVDs of every show, with both stereo and surround mixes, and 4-camera setup.

Holy crap.

And did I mention that all profits from the webcasts and Encore Series go to charity?

Color me happy. And poor.

Now all they have to do is bring Keith and John back from the dead.

Living in 100 Feet

2006-06-14T13:05:00.000-04:00

Photographer Michael Wolf has embarked on an interesting project: he's taken 100 photos from inside Hong Kong's oldest public housing estate: 100 rooms, each 100 feet in size.

The project is fascinating to view - specifically, the way various people choose to fill their rooms, and the notion that anybody could even live like this - until you remember that people are paying upwards of $1200 a month for the same amount of space in the West Village.

The wonders of FEMA

2006-06-14T12:52:00.000-04:00

I coincidentally read these two articles back to back today.

Lives Suspended on Gulf Coast, Crammed Into 240 Square Feet (NY Times)

Fema Hurricane Cards Bought Jewelry, Erotica (CNN)

/dumbfounded

Bazooka Joe Revamped

2006-06-14T11:58:00.000-04:00

Found this one via Waxy...apparently Bazooka Joe is now a hip, cool dude, and I never got the memo.

The New Yorker: The New Bazooka Joe

Meow Mix: A Reality Show About Kitty Cats

2006-06-14T10:20:00.000-04:00

Gothamist.com posts about somehting we drove past last night, the NEW Meow Mix Store.

Awesome! The Meow Mix House webcams are up. Why webcams? Why a house? Meow Mix is running its special cat reailty show where cats compete for a job with Meow Mix. Seriously. Cats from shelters across the country were selected to be put into a "house" at 425 Madison Avenue (Meow Mix's director of advertising and marketing, Ira Cohen, did tell the AP, "This thing is very tongue-in-cheek."). Each week, people can vote for the cats they want to stay in the house, and the winner will be named the "Feline Vice President of Research." But cats who are voted out will get placed in a home, plus a year of Meow Mix, as a prize, so not all is lost. In fact, one of the goals of the Meow Mix House stunt is to remind people about adoption season and how older cats need homes.

More Great Headlines

2006-06-13T16:54:00.000-04:00

For some reason, I feel like this is more Ace's department, but I loved this headline from CNN:

Protesting Daryl Hannah Removed From Tree

I don't know, it almost sounds like some kind of surgical procedure was involved.

The Patented Smooth Criminal Effect

2006-06-13T16:20:00.000-04:00

Do you remember the "Smooth Criminal" video?

Of course you do. It rocked your balls off, and when you think of it today, you still think of that dance move in the saloon. And you always remember that part where MJ and cohorts stood still, yet defied gravity by leaning all the way forward:

Obviously this effect was achieved by using all sorts of nifty harnesses and cables for the video shoot. But when Michael performed the song live, cables wouldn't do. So a patent was actually issued for an invention that allowed Michael to pull off the trick in concert.

All the details. Other tricks of Michael's stage show can be found here (click on "The Professor"). I gotta tell ya - MJ's a weird guy, but if he toured again, I'd be there in a heartbeat. With earplugs.

Borat! The Movie! The Trailer!

2006-06-13T11:19:00.000-04:00

I need to see this movie, like, yesterday.

JH & TE, CGP

2006-06-12T09:01:00.000-04:00

From last night's Tommy Emmanuel show at BB King's. I always try to not smile like an idiot when meeting someone like Tommy. But in my defense, right before the picture was taken, he said to me, "okay, now try to look intelligent."

Len (always) looks much cooler:

As always, a tremendous show by Tommy. Looking forward to seeing him again tonight.

Taste of the New York Subway

2006-06-08T16:40:00.000-04:00

via Kottke, I submit this for your interest: Taste of the New York Subway System is "a directory of New York City restaurants organized by subway stop. This directory shows all restaurants within 200 meters of a subway station, ordered by distance and linked to Yahoo! local search."

Pretty darn cool!

Kitten Attacks Laptop, Film At Eleven

2006-06-08T11:03:00.000-04:00

This is just an adorable video.

Occasionally, Sabrina will sit on my lap and follow the mouse as I move it around. It's a fun game for both of us, but no way would I let her step on the keyboard.

However, when I do eventually get a laptop with a remote control like this one, I'll be tempted.

The Muppets: Imitating Avenue Q?

2006-06-07T11:28:00.000-04:00

News from Muppet Central reports (I love saying that phrase) that the Jim Henson Company is currently developing a new adult comedy, late-night talk show entitled "Late Night Buffet." According to the site, the show will "star puppets and celebrity guests and will be recorded in front of a live studio audience at Henson Studios."

I may be misinterpreting the use of the word "adult" here. They may just mean "not for kids." But y'know, I have a dirty mind. I immediately think of puppet sex.

The Muppets are, of course, no stranger to more adult humor. Despite me loving it as a kid, I don't necessarily think The Muppet Show was meant for my age range. The pilot (which can be found on the Season 1 box set*) was entitled Sex and Violence. Unfortunately, I didn't find it to be very funny at all. Add to that the fact that just about all Muppet product since 1990 has been pretty sub-par...well, I'm not getting any hopes up.

If you're in California, you can go see a live taping.

*Emily: I finally made it through the entire season, and I can see why Mummenschanz freaked you out. (shudder.)

Barenaked Ladies Are Me: 9.12.06

2006-06-07T09:36:00.000-04:00

Barenaked Ladies Are Me is the title of the new album by one of my all-time favoritest bands, and it comes out on September 12.

And they're doing some really cool things with its release. There will be multiple ways to purchase the music, and right now, they're offering multitrack downloads of the first single, "Easy." Some of them are free. They encourage fans to submit their own mixes, the best ones of which will be released for charity.

Now THAT'S cool. And interesting. Because there's no offering of the complete song for download. If you want to hear it all together, you gotta be creative. Dick move, or creating a special treat for their tech-savvy fans? You make the call. The way I see it, they didn't have to release anything at all, and the four main tracks essential for a complete song are free off of MySpace. Maybe I'll play with this over the weekend.

In any case, check out Steven Page's blog post on BNLBlog.com for all the details.

BTW, I just said the title of the new album out loud. Cute. :)

spoofed, random numbers e-mail?

2006-06-07T09:25:00.000-04:00

The other day, Jessica, on her Gmail account, received a message purportedly from herself, and to herself. The subject line was "586876" and the content was "5556." There didn't seem to be any attachment or hidden text.

This morning, I got a similar message - to me, from me - but on my work e-mail account. The only difference was my subject line numbers of "455."

I've found a few blog posts from people getting the same thing, a thread on the Google Groups Gmail discussion board (although most of them seem to think it's solely a Gmail problem, which it clearly isn't), and a post from the Internet Storm Center. (The Internet has a Storm Center?)

Anyway, I'm putting this post out there in case more people start searching blogs, as I did, to see if it's a more widespread problem. If you get a message like this, or come up with any additional information, please post in the comments. Thanks!

Radio Has The Apocalypse Covered

2006-06-06T12:04:00.000-04:00

According to Manhattan Users' Guide, the following was heard this morning on 1010 WINS:

"If the Apocalypse does come today, we'll have complete team coverage as well as traffic and weather on the 1s."

12 Gardens Live, And Clear Channel....Rocks??

2006-06-06T10:25:00.000-04:00

I recently blogged about Billy Joel's upcoming live album, 12 Gardens Live and the myriad of songs transposed to lower keys. You can hear the entire album, or individual songs, as a stream, on Clear Channel's Sneak Peek: Hear It Here First.

Everybody knows that I will take just about any opportunity to bash the shit out of Clear Channel, but they've really done something right here. For a limited time, they're offering an entire album stream, in very good quality. To discourage piracy, every so often, a voice saying "Sneak Peek: Hear It Here First" is heard over the track. It's noticeable, but not terribly distracting. I only heard it once at the beginning and end of each track, and once in the middle.

This is the way to do it! How many of us have heard two or three good songs from an artist, purchased the entire album, and been burned? For me, it's too many times to mention. And enough with this bullshit 30-second sample crap. Nobody can make an educated decision about a song or, better yet, an entire album, in 30 seconds, despite what Gladwell might say.

If you're a record label, and you believe in your product, prove it. Let us hear the whole thing. If the majority of it is good, I will buy it. And Clear Channel's pop-up player is well done: it works with Windows Media Player, it allows you to stream either the entire album or by song, in both high and low quality, features some small (and again, unobtrusive) ads, and of course, provides you a link to buy what you're listening to.

So...stream away! Listen to all of 12 Gardens Live. Decide for yourself whether or not the lower keys work for you, or whether you need another live version of "River of Dreams." It's your choice, and you can finally make an informed decision.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but well done, Clear Channel.

The man windmills, even in rehearsals

2006-06-06T09:45:00.000-04:00

Video from yesterday's Who rehearsal here.

/gets excited

Are you ready for the ultimate 80s list?

2006-06-05T15:39:00.001-04:00

From Steve at Stuck in the 80s:

A few weeks ago, I set out to compile a list of the 50 worst songs of the 80s. To be honest, I didn't think I'd find 50 truly awful songs. Truth is, I found so many more.

It's obvious 80s fans are passionate about the music they love -- and the music they hate. So when it came time to finally compile the songs into a list, I found that I have enough to offer 80 songs instead of 50. The 80 worst songs of the 80s. It has a nice ring to it.

The general criteria in picking the songs is:
-- They needed to be recorded in the 1980s.
-- They needed to be somewhat familiar to the average 80s fan, preferably making a decent run in the top 40 charts.
-- The songs didn't necessarily need to be awful from the first time you heard it. But given a few decades of fermentation, these are some real bio-terrors.

Several people suggested "anything by" these artists: Tiffany, Christopher Cross, Michael McDonald, Whitney Houston, Sheena Easton, Ray Parker Jr., Culture Club, Poison, Warrant, Cinderella and Bobby Brown.

Are you ready for the ultimate 80s list?

This makes for an interesting read. There's lots of familiar songs here. Now I don't care how many times Lionel Ritchie appears in the list, he's still collecting lots of royalties on those songs.

And look at how young George is...

here's some hint as to what's on the list:

Want some clues about more songs we're eyeing? At least four songs by Lionel Richie. Two by David Lee Roth. Two by Loverboy. And even two tunes by Billy Joel.

Classic Sesame On Its Way

2006-06-02T10:53:00.000-04:00

Are you diggin' all the Classic Sesame Clips on YouTube? It seems perfect timing for Sesame Workshop to announce they'll be releasing a "Sesame Street Nostalgia Box Set." I am all over this.

News from Muppet Central regarding the DVD box

Oh right you need a vacation

2006-06-01T10:52:00.000-04:00

LINK

I have this friend who has been "writing" a screenplay or book or something or another for some time. When I first saw this clip, I about fell off the chair because it was EXACTLY what I wanted to say to him when he told me that he was going on vacation when he was in between jobs. When I got the opportunity to work on a new video distribution project, this clip was one of the test clips we used.

Now I am able to share it with everyone else.

Check Out The Weepies

2006-06-01T10:18:00.001-04:00

Based on yet another Jefito recommendation, I picked up Say I Am You, the new record by The Weepies. Jeff poetically describes the album better than I possibly can, but the best way to explain how I feel about Say I Am You is this: I put it on while going to bed last night, and a sweet, simple note sung by Deb Talan in "Painting By Chagall" actually woke me as I was drifting to sleep. I couldn't fall back to sleep. I had to play the track a few more times. And first thing this morning.

Read Jeff's review, and if it's the kind of thing that sounds appealing to you, go to The Weepies website and play a few tracks. The site is remarkably well-done; by clicking on "discography," you can hear full versions of not only their collective songs but their solo tracks as well. All artists' sites should offer so much. I'll be picking up a few more releases from these two.

Oh, and read the "about" section, describing how Steve Tannen and Deb Talan first met. It's a great story.

RIP: Mr. Softee

2006-05-31T17:15:00.000-04:00

The man is dead, but his jingle will live on forever!

Gary Cherone, Rock Putz

2006-05-30T13:22:00.000-04:00

This week, a new Who tribute comes rolling into town. Amazing Journey: A Tribute To The Who features Mike Portnoy from Dream Theater, Paul Gilbert from Mr. Big, Billy Sheehan from Mr. Big, and Gary Cherone from both Van Halen and, of course, Extreme. They're at BB King's tomorrow night.

Blabbermouth.net reports their stellar setlist, but more importantly, notes the following:

Gary Cherone — caught up in the moment during the "smashing" encore of "My Generation" at the Whittier performance — decided to do a full body dive into Mike Portnoy's obliterated custom-made drum set. Unfortunately, the back of his head landed (or so it is believed) on one of the lug nuts on the drums.

CalProg security manager Gruno reports the event as follows: "Gary flipped over the drums and his back landed on a mic stand and one of the bass drums. The back of his head landed flat against the back of the toms. He was knocked out briefly (maybe three seconds max) as I was on stage left and he had this bewildered look when he came to. He sat motionless for another few seconds. After they exited the stage, I had to get Portnoy's stick bag for him and there was blood all over the drums. He was okay with some ice and towels in the dressing room."

Nice.

My Who buddy Mike Starcke reports that this isn't the first time Cherone has hurt himself trying to look cool: back when he was with VH, he jumped over an aisle railing and landed on his balls. (I can't find confirmation of this: Googling "Gary Cherone testicles" and "Gary Cherone injures nuts" didn't help.) Anyway, enjoy:

Photo of Gary Cherone being a putz

Video of Gary Cherone being a putz

Guest Blogger: Trish Pottersmith, "10 Reasons To Love Boulder In The Springtime"

2006-05-25T10:19:00.000-04:00

Today, I'm proud to feature a post by a dear friend of mine, ~~Trish~~ Trrish Pottersmith. Trrish is one of my very favorite Who fanatics (and when I say she's a Who fanatic, I mean it). She is one of the most giving people I know, and has boundless energy and love. I've been fortunate enough to share in some great Who events with her and her family in the NYC area (here's me, Trrish and her husband Scott ("Ozzie") at the Rihga Royal in 2002). Trrish now lives in Boulder, CO, and has written a great list of the top 10 things she loves about Boulder during this time of year. I've never been to Boulder, but after reading her list, I wanna go. And you should too.

So without further adieu...here's Trrish's list, 10 Reasons To Love Boulder In The Springtime (or anytime, really):

Here is a shameless plug for what I have come to love about what I think of as my hometown (for 16 years now.)

And that list is:

#10: The Zip Code Guy. I run into David at the vegan cafe a lot. He is representative of the freaky talent you find on the Pearl Street Pedestrian mall. You tell him your zip code, he'll tell you all about the town. It's freaky. He auditioned for Letterman and was too freaky even for them. Ozzie used to do face-painting next to his spot on the mall, so I got to know him.

http://www.dbi.org/index.php?load=visitors&page_id=19

#9: KBCO and 99.5 The Mountain. Two radio stations worth having. One was bought by Clear Channel (watch out for Charles!!), the other is independent. While I disagree with KBCO's playlist at times, and the jocks on The Mountain sometimes make me want to slap them, overall I love them for what they are. Both are Who-loving, and both have enough local flavor and NORMAL jocks who don't shout at you making bad attempts at humor.

#8: The Flatirons: http://jdlphotos.com/mercantool/mtool.pl?command=productpage
_show&product=28&category_ID=4

#7: Open Space Program. An intentional program by Boulder county to preserve land from being developed (and yeah, driving real estate prices sky-high. They don't call us the People's Republic of Boulder for nothing). However, the payoff is pretty impressive. Boulder is surrounded by pockets of "open space" that are public parks and trails for use by all. The hiking here is phenomenal. I've never been anywhere that is so...active. Rock climbing, hiking, bike riding, mountain bike riding, marathon training. It's something. When I first decided to move here, I dreamed that they wouldn't let me in because my thighs were too flabbly. Seriously. I dreamed that. I still worry.

http://www.co.boulder.co.us/openspace/

#6: The Boulder Food Co-op. The co-op's cafe, Cafe Prasad, is one of a handful of places in the country that runs a true vegan cafe, and supports the "raw food" community with gourmet style. I'm serious. You have to see it to believe it. It just ended up in the top 10 list of vegetarian restaurants in the US according to the Alternative Medicine journal. I think you'd have to go to San Francisco to beat the quality. I am a frequent visitor - probably
three times a week. I tend to think of myself as a "lipstick vegan". I like the diet without the dreadlocks...

http://www.bouldercoop.com/

#5: The LC. The Lesbian cafe, or actually, The Walnut Cafe. I say this with the utmost respect, not as a snark. The cafe is run by a prominent local woman who is active in the community and makes some great pies!!! Seriously, you just have to try them. She also happens to be lesbian, and there tend to be a number of lesbian waitresses. I find that the female quotient adds to the nurturing style of the cafe and I can't think of any place I'd rather hang out
for lunch. Caters to all types of diet (a big issue in Boulder) and is safe for vegetarians, a little iffy for vegans. I like to think of myself as a "lipstick lesbian wannabe"!!

#4: The Bolder Boulder. The 2nd largest running race in the US, and raises money for loads of local charities. Where 50,000+ runners take to the streets of Boulder, ending up at Folsom Field (U of Colorado Football Stadium) where 100,000 spectators greet them.

Each year for the past 10 or so, my family has participated. While everyone else in Boulder is wondering "will I beat my time from last year??", the Pottersmiths are wondering.. "Can we get to the stadium before 11:00 am this year????" Last year we beat our previous times by 10 minutes - a world's record!!! This year, Dagny wants to run...oh no, what is that going to do to our slacker tradition???

http://www.bolderboulder.com

#3 The Trivial Bowl (Recently moved to the fall, but who's counting). Originally modeled after TV's GE College Bowl, the CU Trivia Bowl became the largest non-athletic event in CU's history. It was featured nationally in the press in its heyday. It was a multi-media event, with audio and video questions.

These days, the student body doesn't have the enthusiasm anymore, but the trivia teams still show up and play each other with great joy. A number of contestants have gone on to win the big bucks on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" and "Jeopardy". It has spawned "The Basement Bowl", to which my teammate Paul and I were invited to this winter. After which we felt incredibly...honored?? Pumped up?? Intelligent?? Witty??? No, actually we felt incredibly stupid. These guys are 1000 times better at it than we are. Ok, so we were a bit honored. Here's an article on the Basement Bowl. It certainly gives you the flavor of the stifling geekiness of the whole thing. And ya'll know how I love stifling geekiness. And you all know I say that with love. I like to think of myself as a "lipstick geek".

http://www.westword.com/Issues/1994-04-20/news/feature3.html

#2 Kinetics!!!

There's not way I can explain this one. Suffice to say, it's an opportunity for crazy people to act legitimately crazy for a week. It's one of those things that I just marvel at. I marvel that first, anyone would think of such a thing in the first place. And B), that everyone shows up to participate!!! It's just too much fun. Plus, music. This year, Los Lobos, John Butler Trio, and Mike Doughty and Yonder Mt. String Band at the Ball. Next year, my family are going to be volunteers.

http://www.comfortableshoes.com/content/boulder-kinetics.cfm

#1 The Conference on World Affairs

This week-long conference hosts participants who are experts in their field - at their own expense!! They come to Boulder, shack up with a local who's volunteered their spare bedroom, pay for their own meals and sit around and hold sessions on the world's problems for 5 days in a row. It's an intellectuals dream. This is the event where Roger Ebert has come for the past 30 years to do his "cinema interruptus" with a different film each year. I wouldn't miss it for the....world.

http://www.colorado.edu/cwa/

and also coming in at #1 - hey folks, we have a tie,

The Weather!!! Did you know that Boulder has something like 325 sunny days a year?? Seriously. It's amazing. Those rumors you've heard about the tough winters?? HA!! It's just a ruse to get all those Texans not to move here (hi Alan!!!). Yeah, there are *maybe* 10 bad snow days a year. But the next day, it's sunny again.

Every spring, I realize again how genuinely happy I am to be here. The only other place that truly has given me pause for thought in comparison is the Big Island of Hawaii. Pretty hard to pull off, though (hi Seth!!).

Can you tell for the last few weeks at work I've been arranging site visits for my colleagues from other universities to come here to meet with us about a huge upcoming project I'm working on?? And that I have tons of energy today that I don't know what to do with?? I should be out mountain biking. Shame on me.

trrish

Trrish, thank you for allowing me to share this list on Plagiarist! No doubt we'll spend some time together this Fall, broke and happy....but after that, I'm coming to Boulder.

Pete Townshend Wants Your Corporate Money, Y'all

2006-05-25T08:55:00.000-04:00

If you are a corporate sponsor considering sponsoring the Who in this mammoth FIRST EVER tour webcast venture, get your head out of your arse and walk towards us. We are about to take off.

Pete outlines "The Master's Plan" for the upcoming Who tour at his website. I gotta give credit where credit is due: most of the money from the projects he mentions is going to charity.

According to the Who section of the website, the band plan to come and take bags of my money between September 7th and October 10th, & November 5th and December 5th. I don't know when the NY shows will be, but undoubtedly they'll conflict with a birthday or Jefitopalooza or something. I think a set of Thanksgiving shows would be pretty awesome.

But will they play "Won't Get Fooled Again," the most conservative song in rock n' roll? Only time will tell. (I think so.)

Billy Joel: 12 Gardens Live, But Lower

2006-05-24T15:37:00.000-04:00

So Billy has a new live disc coming out very soon. 12 Gardens Live will be released on June 13. Clearly, Sony is hurting for new Billy Joel product, since he won't give them the pop stuff they want. And it never hurts to release live greatest hits, even though out of the 30 songs, 13 14 according to Mark were released on his last live album, 2000 Years: The Millennium Concert.

I'll still buy the disc, because I had the opportunity to see his final show on 4/24, and it was phenomenal. After walking away disappointed from a show I saw in 1999, I vowed I wouldn't waste the money again. But the reports about both Billy and his band were strong this time around, and they didn't disappoint.

What's interesting about 12 Gardens Live is that the songs are going to sound slightly different to your ear. Billy has transposed most of the songs on the discs down at least a half step, if not a whole step. I don't have perfect pitch, but I can tell when a song is being performed in a key different from the original. I hate it.

I fully understand why Billy changes the keys. As a performer, you have two options: you can keep the songs in their original keys and just change the melodies to accomodate your shrinking vocal range (Elton John), or you can lower the keys and still deliver a melody that is familiar - one that people can still sing along to. As an audience member, the latter is a better choice.

There is one key change that didn't bother me, though: Billy lowered "An Innocent Man," and was thus able to finally sing the chorus on his own again. For years, he's taken the "I am" and the "Oh yes I am" phrases and relegated them to Peter Hewlett or Crystal Taliefero. I love me some Crystal Taliefero, but it always cut the emotional impact of the song for me. I'm glad to hear him singing the full chorus once more.

On one of the Billy Joel message boards that I frequent, one extremely astute member named Mark has listened to a sample of each song on 12 Gardens Live, and noted when songs have been transposed into lower keys. Poor Mark has perfect pitch and must be going nuts whenever he hears these songs in adjusted keys. Anyway, here is Mark's list of all the songs on 12 Gardens Live, and their new keys. Quite interesting - I had no idea how many had been adjusted for Billy's voice.

Half Step Lower Than Original Key:
Prelude/Angry Young Man
My Life
Zanzibar
Miami 2017
The Great Wall of China
Allentown
She's Right On Time
Laura
Movin' Out
She's Always a Woman
The River of Dreams
A Matter of Trust

Whole Step Lower Than Original Key:
Everybody Loves You Now
The Ballad of Billy the Kid
The Entertainer
Vienna
New York State of Mind
Goodnight Saigon
An Innocent Man
The Downeaster Alexa
Keeping the Faith
Only the Good Die Young
Piano Man (yes, it's down to B flat now)

Still in its Original Key:
The Night is Still Young
Don't Ask Me Why
We Didn't Start the Fire
Big Shot
You May Be Right
Scenes From an Italian Restaurant
And So It Goes

KURT COBAIN, LAST DAY

2006-05-24T14:07:00.000-04:00

Jeez, I haven't the foggiest idea where these things come from...

what happened the last day of Kurt Cobain's lifewhat happened in the time of his death till the police werecalled in? I recived an unsigned letter in the mail with a confession. Now here on FLICKR is the exclusive story
its a sad sick tale that ended more horrible than you know or could imagine Kurts story is truly tragic. What could of saved him? no one will ever know
Here's the last day of KURT COBAIN

Kurt broke into the hospitals medicine stock room before he left the rehab
it was full of every kind of pill and drug you could dream of
a candy
store
a junkies dream
he stuffed his pockets and filled bottles and
dragged them home
now he sat n smoked popping pills like candy
as the
world around him faded
and the voices in his head stopped screaming
even
his loudmouth deranged wife
Courtney Love
I jusst wanna die groaned and
slurred Kurt
I..J U S T W A N N A D I E
as he slowly slid to the floor

Real Plagiarist Talk.

2006-05-23T12:22:00.000-04:00

If you haven't read it already, stop by Mike's excellent Down With Snark! and read his latest entry, "On 'the new plagiarism.'" People seem to have a really hard time figuring out what the word means (some more than others); Mike breaks it all down for you.

(and yes, I did think about just posting his article here completely, without attribution, but that would make me a real, y'know, plagiarist.)

The Tennessee Waltz

2006-05-19T10:33:00.000-04:00

Okay, for some reason I had this song pop into my head.. so I googled it and this is what I found that was of interest. I never thought that someone would and could actually describe a set of music as "Fred Sanford."

The Tennessee Waltz
listen lo fi / listen hi fi

composed Stewart; arranged Thompson

Album: One For the Team more info

Inspired by a recording by Lou Donaldson, this arrangement is best described as "The Tennessee Waltz meets Fred Sanford."

McCartney Divorces, Reporters Go Wild

2006-05-18T15:40:00.000-04:00

So, as you probably know by now, Paul McCartney and his wife of four years, Heather Mills McCartney are separating. And naturally, reporters have had a field day in their creation of headlines.

These are all real:

Sir Paul Joins Lonely Hearts Club
She Loves You Yeah, Yeah, Right
They Can't Work It Out
Linda casts shadow over long and winding road to break-up
She's Leaving Home
Hello, Goodbye to McCartney's Marriage
Money can't buy you love
Heather's Grabby Road
So yesterday for McCartneys (nice! Even includes a Hillary Duff reference!)
She Won't Still Need Him When He's 64

Mike and I came up with these:

Heather Mills McCartney on The Run
Debt (ooo,ooo,ooooh!) (to the tune of Jet)
Half! (ooo,ooo,ooooh!) (same tune)
You're Gonna Give Me Your Money
Heather Says Goodbye, Heather's Divorce Lawyer Says Hello

Are there any we've missed?

Alex in Gothamist

2006-05-18T12:09:00.000-04:00

A buddy that I went to high school with, Alexander Zalben, is profiled in today's Gothamist Interview. Way to go, Alex. I don't know why you forgot to mention that I was in your production of "All's Swell That Ends, Will" back in high school, but I'm sure Gothamist will issue a correction.

Straw Art

2006-05-16T16:48:00.000-04:00

I keep meaning to post this... pretty wild what one can do when you have lots of time.

Happy Birthdays at YouTube

2006-05-16T14:22:00.000-04:00

if you want something more exciting... well...

Scary...

Tenacious D Sings Happy Birthday!

Sexy... (could be scary too!)

Paris Hilton sings Happy Birthday

Evolution of Dancing

2006-05-15T01:09:00.000-04:00

Well the evolution of dance is pretty interesting, not to mention just a good mix. I didn't think that you could get some of these songs to actually mix together but here they are.

Of course, where does finger breakdancing fit in?

Foolish dance steps that I don't know how they relate but heck, since it's dance stuff... I thought to include it. Make sure to check out the "Elaine ripped me off" dance.

I'll Miss You Mr. Hooper

2006-05-12T11:20:00.000-04:00

From Michelle's You Can't Make It Up blog: Crystal Meth and Muppet Death

I was too young to remember Will Lee's (the actor who played Mr. Hooper) untimely death in 1983. The producers of the show, instead of skirting the issue of his passing, instead dealt with it head on in one of the show's most famous episodes.

"Unpaved" has a transcript of the scene. The first time I read it, I was hysterical. And because I am a sick maniac, I would read it to friends, and we would just cry and cry. At the Museum, I decided I had to see this tragic scene played out first hand. Part of me feels cruel for posting this video, because I'm convinced it's the muppet version of 9/11, but another part of me really thinks you all should see it. It was recorded soon after his passing, and the neighborhood gang is genuinely tearing up. Poignant and heartbreaking.

I'll Miss You Mr. Hooper (Classic Sesame Street)

You can read the transcript here. Needless to say, wearing eyemakeup today was a pretty bad idea.

damn. i don't recall him passing away. but damn, yeah well if i had makeup today it would have been a bad idea too.

pass the tissue.

Robot Chicken: Darth Vadar Collect Call

2006-05-11T15:13:00.000-04:00

If you haven't spent the time watching Robot Chicken on Cartoon Network you are missing out on some really good humor. Check out some other clips. Some of the most interesting ones, Napoleon Bonamite, Real World Metropolis, Optimus Prime with Prostate Cancer, Ode to the Nut Shot (one of the best ones!) Scooby Doo, Who Killed Santa?, Beavis & Butthead meet Teen Titans, Waxing Morning Wood.

One of the interesting bits is that Mila Kunis and Sarah Michelle Gellar both get some odd credits at the end of the show.

Virtual Singer

2006-05-11T11:30:00.000-04:00

I don't know how I found this page, what possessed me to install this application called Harmony Assitant, but when Mike mentioned that the leek swinging anime character was scatting, I had to look up Jazz Scat (do not just google scat, it will not be a good thing, trust me on this one!)

I happened to grow up near where Scatman Crothers lived and would see him from time to time at the grocery store. I always enjoyed his performances in TV shows, but I did especially like listening to him scat. I had forgotten how much I did enjoy it.

Harmony Assitant not only lets you do musical notation and harmony, but one of the plugins Virtual Singer allows one to have virtual singers in many languages and abilities, scatting being one of them. So far I've listened to 4 part harmony Italian Opera, Elvis, Sinatra, Gregorian Chant, and Scat Jazz!

Rock'n'Roll Fantasy Camp

2006-05-09T15:24:00.000-04:00

Seems that Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy camp is coming to NYC.

It's like the rockers are coming to Springfield:
Lenny Kravitz, Tom Petty, Elvis Costello and Brian Setzer have joined the lineup of guest voices for the season premiere of The Simpsons, which will air on November 10th. They join previously confirmed guests Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.

In the episode, "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation" -- which kicks off the animated series' fourteenth season -- Marge sends Homer to a rock & roll fantasy camp to fulfill his dream of becoming a rock star.

Headlining Talent: Dickey Betts, Jon Anderson, Levon Helm, Joe Satriani, George Thorogood, Dr. John, MARK FARNER, Max Weinberg, Dee Snider.

Camp Counselors: Teddy 'Zig Zag' Andreadis, JACK BLADES, Gary Burr, Fred Coury, Spencer Davis, Sandy Genaro, Barry Goudreau, Kelly Keagy, Simon Kirke, Bruce Kulick, Michael Lardie, Jerry Renino, Mark Slaughter, Kip Winger, Peter Tork.

Really the only fantasy I have for being a rock star was all the groupies and the tawdry debaucherous times. I'm all about the Sex, Drugs, Rock'n'Roll part, especially for the screaming mimi groupies!!!

Cost: Full Camp: $8499, Add on Spouse Package: $499. (Umm unless she's a groupie... duh! and get your own lodging because it's not included!)

But of course to pay homage to the blog owner, there's got to be some Daltry videos.
Dropping in on rehearsing campers, Playing on stage with campers, and what Roger has to say about RnR Fantasy Camp

Catchy tune

2006-05-08T11:10:00.000-04:00

A little jazz, a little anime...

catchy tune though.

anyone know who or what it is?

While Jason's away, some mp3 blog love

2006-05-05T14:44:00.000-04:00

The following were posted on the last few days and found (where else) on Hype Machine. MP3 blogs are transient, git em whilst they last.

From the always excellent WFMU "Beware of the Blog" (who brought us Janet Greene and her fascist folk music, 37 versions of Stairway to Heaven. Let me repeat that: THIRTY SEVEN VERSIONS OF STARIWAY TO HEAVEN. The jokes practically write themselves don't they?

From "The Rich Girls Are Weeping" - My motivation for putting this post together was seeing this and making sure Jason didn't miss the posting of muppet/sesame street mp3s while he was away. The highlight is of course "Pinball Number Count" by the Pointer Sisters (i.e. onetwothreeFOURFIVE sixseveneightNINETEN elevenTWELVE). The other tracks are great as well.

From one of my favorite sites "The Late Greats" - Maybe I am biased, but it is my opinion that everyone should own as many versions of 1952 Vincent Black Lightning as they can get their hands on (not available here, my favorite version, by the DelMcCoury Band).

Last but by no means least, far be it from me to interfere with the burgeoning mutual mancrush between Jason and Jefito, but if you are not a regular visitor to Jeff's site, you should be. He's currently featuring Beatles bootlegs, Little Feat mp3s and multiple cuts from the Bruce Willis album that doesn't have Respect Yourself on it.

The New Search for WMDs

2006-05-04T10:57:00.000-04:00

Cyn opsis: Weekender
05/04/06

The New Search for WMDs
by Dave Zornow

        The search for WMDs continues. Despite a lack of evidence proving they are a threat, our leaders continue to make statements -- un-supported by research -- to scare their constituents.
        The industry fervor over Weapons of Media Destruction (WMDs) began two years ago when Nielsen first announced plans to segregate “live” viewing from DVR playback ratings.
        Stoked by agencies fears that viewers would stop watching commercials, some agencies have campaigned to discredit commercial exposure during DVR playback and only accept live ratings. Last week another industry leader proclaimed that “live plus seven” (DVR playback within a week of recording) is a non-starter for media negotiations. Yet, not a shred of evidence exists that advertising is any less effective in playback than it is when broadcast “live.”
        So, being a patriotic and advertising-friendly American, I decided to do my own WMD research. Knowing that first impressions are often lasting ones, I executed a self-funded ethnographic study with a 16-year old male whose family had just installed their first DVR. His identity is confidential, so I’ll just use the name “Jeremy Zornow.” (Any similarity between the respondent’s last name and mine is purely coincidental. Btw, my wife would be the first to tell you he was a very cute baby.)

Q: How has having a DVR changed your TV viewing?

A: “I can watch my favorite shows whenever I want. (Duh!)”

Q: Are you watching fewer commercials?

A: “I watch more commercials now that we have a DVR. Now, when I play back programs, I don’t need to change the channel to skip commercials. I *have* to watch the commercials while I zip through them.”

Q: Are commercials just as impactful at high speed?

A: “If you see the commercial once, you can recognize the logo or the storyline and you remember what it was about. Isn’t it more important that I watch it at high speed then not at all? What makes people think that I need to watch all 30 seconds to every time to get the message?”

Of course, interviewing one teenager about DVR behavior isn’t legitimate research. But until someone fields an advertising effectiveness test which proves that DVR playback ratings are any less effective than live ratings, it’s just as legit as any of the unproven claims of the WMD theorists. ##
--Dave Zornow is President/TNG Research, a media research consultancy and applications development company that works with media sellers and research providers.

Pearl Jam Surprise!

2006-05-04T10:26:00.000-04:00

Pearl Jam play surprise show in NYC

Pearl Jam will play a surprise show this Friday (May 5th) at a yet-to-be-announced location in New York City, according to Blabbermouth.net. Free tickets to the show will be available only to those in the city who line up at midnight tonight (May 1st) at the downtown Tower Records in Manhattan to purchase the band's new self-titled album, which comes out tomorrow (Tuesday, May 2nd). Pearl Jam will also perform a mini-concert on Thursday (May 4th) at the Ed Sullivan Theatre in Manhattan just after taping an appearance on Late Show With David Letterman there. The concert will be broadcast online at the Late Show website.

To see the concert, go to cbs.com/latenight/lateshow on May 4th at approximately 5:55 P.M. ET, when the performance is expected to begin.

The group's Late Show appearance will also air that night on CBS.

Pearl Jam begins a North American tour on May 9th in Toronto, Canada, with dates stretching into late July. Six of its shows, in late June and early July, will be with Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.

Midgets Eating Lunch

2006-05-03T13:48:00.000-04:00

Gothamist points out the new George Grantham Bain Collection at the Library of Congress. Over 40,000 images from the good ol' days. I absolutely love any photos of NYC from back in the day, and have been really enjoying this collection.

While searching on "Central Park," I came across this image:

That's right. It's 3 midgets eating lunch, sitting on the grass. How can I be so sure? Because the picture caption is:

TITLE: Midgets eating lunch - May party - Central Park. Three midgets sitting on the grass.

Just fascinating that I didn't even go into this searching for midgets, yet somehow came upon them.

Check out the collection. It's great.

Bad Plagiarist! BAD!

2006-05-02T08:59:00.000-04:00

I am terribly sorry for the lack of Plagiarist content at the moment. Work has been extremely busy as of late, and I haven't had any time at all to write anything worthwhile. I can update you, however, on a few interesting things that have happened lately:

Stood next to Peter Frampton in the security line at the Las Vegas airport;
Saw an excellent Billy Joel show, where he played so many obscurities that people were trampling each other to escape towards the beer line. Will somebody tell me why this is the first image that comes up when you search for "Billy Joel" on Google?
Found the following concerts I really want to attend - which, interestingly enough, are all more than one artist that I enjoy: Steely Dan/Michael McDonald, Bill Frisell/Petra Haden, Hem/Over The Rhine, Guster/Ray LaMontagne. And, of course, Tommy Muthafuckin' Emmanuel. June 12. I am all over that show. I was not smart enough to purchase the "VIP" tickets before they sold out, however. Not that I care that much about the meet-and-greet or the poster, but I sure would have loved reserved seating up close. Getting good seats at BB King's is one of the most stressful experiences ever. I hate that venue - despite a very good sound system, there's no way to enjoy a show there in good seating without spending at least an extra $50 on food/drink.
Speaking of concerts, found out that George Michael is touring in Europe and sold out all the shows in about 2 hours. One day, I'll tell you about how the 8/15/88 "Faith" concert at Madison Square Garden still remains one of my greatest concert memories ever. Yes, I'm serious, bitches.
Listened to Survivor's Reach numerous times. Can't get the actual song "Reach" out of my head. Thus continues my love/hate relationship with the brilliance that is Jefito.
Found this great article on the great Live Concert Moment. I've been holding on to this article for the past few weeks in hopes of fostering a good discussion about it, but I don't have the time to really go into it at the moment. So I post this mainly for my music peeps (Jefito, Ace, Mike) because I keep thinking about you when I read it, and maybe we can discuss it when I have more time or when Plagiarist debuts its forthcoming changes, whichever comes first (and at this point, I'm not sure).

That's all for now. I'm out of town on business for the rest of the week, pretty much, so hopefully I'll have something exciting to report upon my return. Enjoy and thanks for checking in.

ImprovEverywhere Mission: Best Buy

2006-05-01T15:46:00.000-04:00

Best Buy on Vimeo

This is one of those ImprovEverywhere deals.

In order to participate you must arrive adhering to a very specific dress code:

1) Blue Polo Shirt. Short sleeved. Any brand. Preferably with no logo. As Close to Royal Blue as possible. As close to this exact shirt as possible.

2) Khaki Pants. Any shade of khaki is fine. No shorts.

3) Belt. Any belt is fine.

Other Instructions:

-If possible, please wear black shoes. This is not required, but please wear them if you have them.

-You must also bring a NEWSPAPER (Any newspaper is fine--just grab a free one on the street.)

-If possible, do not bring a backpack or any type of bag. This is not a huge deal, but it will work better without bags.

-Do not bring any type of camera. This mission is, as all IE Missions should be, participatory. We are covering it with our own small staff of camera people and do not need any more cameras or journalists. Only show up if you are wearing the proper dress and ready to participate and have fun!

Pimpification, and Penguin Bars

2006-04-24T20:27:00.000-04:00

When MTV looks back on its legacy, and by that I mean the complete and utter destruction of western culture, I'd like to think that one of the things they will take particular pride in is their part in the transformation of "pimp" formerly a noun meaning "a flamboyantly dressed individual who protects prostitutes in exchange for a percentage of their profits" into a verb meaning "to improve, in a garish, impractical and ostentatious way."

But if "rides" can be "pimped" why not other things? Why not, say, snacks:

Pimp My Snack

Unfortunately, this is a British website so a lot of the snacks (Iced Buns, Tea Cakes, Pom Bears, Penguin bars, mmmmmmm Penguin Bars) are going to be unfamiliar to an American audience. Still, dumping a pound of icing sugar on a loaf of bread is amusing in almost any language:

As is making a Ferrero Rocher the size of your head

Z, your course is clear. You must travel the world, seeking out these pimped foods, and you must eat them. All of them. Godspeed sir...Godspeed.

Oh No You Din't!!!

2006-04-21T15:39:00.000-04:00

ummm...Oh No you Din't!!!

It's Getting Kind Of Hectic

2006-04-19T10:17:00.000-04:00

So I am temporarily (I hope) iPod-less, as I have sent it to iPodResQ for a new battery. But I can't live without my music, so I borrowed Jess's iPod shuffle for the gym this morning. I didn't change the music or anything.

First song: "Notorious" by Duran Duran
Second song: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper
Third song: "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder
Fourth song, and this is where it gets awesome: "The Power" by Snap

I love you, Jess. Song # 4 got me through some rough stuff this morning. After I stopped giggling.

Snap - The Power (mp3)

Count the people

2006-04-13T10:37:00.000-04:00

Count, wait and watch.

This will drive you crazy! WHERE DOES THE EXTRA MAN COME FROM? don't ask me; I haven't figured it out yet, that's why I posted it to here.

Indigo Girls Sign With Hollywood Records

2006-04-12T11:27:00.000-04:00

I was just reading the latest news on the IG front:

IG's signed a new record deal a few days ago with Hollywood Records. We are really excited to have a fresh start and quite frankly, thankful that anyone in the music industry still cares.

Hollywood is a small label with a limited number of artist releases each year. They have the staff and time to focus on each project and are not put off by our politics or our queerness.

It's been in the works for a while. We went through a long process of weighing our options. I struggled a lot with the corporate ties of Hollywood, they are owned by Disney. But in the end feel good about the decision. Honestly, I was won over by the enthusiasm and willingness to get creative with a contract that offers us things more important than money, i.e. creative freedom and vast opportunities to grow musically. We did weigh this against other offers, including independents, but didn't find the level of enthusiasm or understanding of our music that Hollywood showed. We did consider putting our own label together, but it just wasn't in the cards. In the end, we felt that for the Indigo Girls, this was the best road. The deal also allows us to pursue our solo interests and specifically for me, gives me the space to focus on my indie label-Daemon Records.

This is fascinating to me. The backstory is that Indigo Girls have been with Sony/Epic Records since the late '80s, and fulfilled their final contractual obligation with them a year or so ago. Over the years, IG have become less mainstream - no real "singles" to speak of, although they still pack houses when the tour - and as such, they've become understandably disenfranchised with the whole "major label" thing. They remained mum after parting ways with Sony, but it was assumed that they'd either go with a small indie or start their own label. So this news is surprising.

I'll have to wait and see how it turns out. I hope it rejuvinates them - not that they need rejuvinating - and that Hollywood can somehow bring them back to the forefront a little. Hollywood Records is the American record label for Queen, so I'm relatively familiar with them in that aspect. They had a solid start on the Queen front back in the early '90s, when they released every Queen album on CD, remastered with various bonus tracks and/or remixes. However, since then, obviously the possible output from Queen has been limited, so Hollywood has put out the following Greatest Hits releases:

Classic Queen (1992)
Greatest Hits (1992)
The Queen Collection (combining the above two) (1992)
Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 & 2 ) (1995)
Queen Rocks (featuring only uptempo songs, save for a new song by the three remaining members, "No One But You") (1997)
The Crown Jewels (box set featuring their first 8 albums) (1998)
Greatest Hits Vol. 3 (attributed to "Queen +," as it had to really scrounge around to find tracks for this disc, and as such, picked some tracks without Freddie on 'em) (1999)
Greatest Hits: We Will Rock You Edition (I could try to explain this one, but it's really difficult. Erlewine gives it his best shot here) (2004)

And just yesterday, Hollywood Record released "Queen: Stone Cold Classics:"

Now this is pathetic. From the press release:

(Burbank, CA) April 11, 2006, The mighty legacy of rock band Queen is brought back to the fore for a fresh hearing in Stone Cold Classics, a new CD collection of 12 of the band's biggest hits and timeless rock classics, with the additional bonus of two new live tracks performed by Queen + Paul Rodgers, recorded during their first tour together.

Stone Cold Classics showcases original versions of a selection of the songs being performed by the eight finalists of the U.S.'s No. 1 rated entertainment television show American Idol during a special Queen edition of the show which airs April 11 and 12 on Fox.

Do you see why I'm a bit worried about Hollywood Records?

As I said before, I recognize that they really don't have much more that they can do with Queen. Freddie Mercury has been dead for almost 15 years (yes, it's been that long). They're currently touring with Paul Rodgers, and, well...Hollywood has already released a live CD/DVD from that venture. But is the solution to keep churning out the same old hits, again and again (with a truly uninspired, half-assed cover, I might add), in the hopes that someone who hasn't bought them already will now be convinced? And while I do think it is possible - that someone who watches "American Idol" will be inspired to find out more about Queen - unless "Stone Cold Classics" is drilled into their heads during the broadcast (and who knows, it might be), how are they going to know which one to buy? If the answer from Hollywood is along the lines of "Who cares? As long as they buy just one," then I'm not convinced it's the right home for Indigo Girls.

Followup: "Living In TV Land"

2006-04-11T21:22:00.000-04:00

Last week, I raved about the debut episode of "Living In TV Land," this one featuring William Shatner:

I had no idea what to expect, but imagined the show would be rather cheesy and gimmick-y like other shows focusing on these types of stars (The Surreal Life, My Fair Brady, etc). What can I say...I was dead wrong. Instead, what I found was a documentary that was interesting, well crafted and well edited, and, most importantly, honest...I can't imagine that all the other episodes will be as good, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

Tonight I watched episode 2, featuring Barry Williams:

STEER CLEAR OF THIS EPISODE.

To my dismay, it was the polar opposite of what I saw last week: it was scripted, it was full of phony moments, and just disengenous all around. Thankfully, it only lasted 30 minutes (as opposed to Shatner's 60).

The show focuses on the following, as the press release states: TV Land cameras capture Williams when the devoted baseball fan is offered the opportunity to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at Dodgers Stadium.

The only problem: there's this whole facade of TV Land just happening to catch Williams when he receives this news. TV Land is there, they tell us. Only problem is, they've got a camera on Williams when he receives the call, and (gasp!) they just so happen to have a camera on famed Dodgers player Don Drysdale as he makes the call to Williams. And it's only downhill from there. Because Williams is not an especially gifted actor, he doesn't sound surprised when he gets the call, he fakes determination as he searches his garage for his old mitt (and magically finds the old Brady tiki idol from the Hawaii episode), and pushes the whole overly stressed bit when he's preparing for his big moment. All in all, the moments are meant, I suppose, to be charming or cute, and they're neither.

There are some guest stars in this episode as well: Shatner's episode featured Candace Bergen, Leonard Nimoy and Brad Paisley, among others. These don't make as much sense. Yeah, there's Christopher Knight, with whom he practices his pitching, but that makes sense; he was a Brady, and plus, I kinda like Christopher Knight after watching the VH1 reality shows I referenced above. But here's where it gets weird: for no reason whatsoever, Williams goes out to a pool hall (Hollywood Billiards, I believe?) and plays pool with the following former TV stars:

Mackenzie Phillips (One Day At A Time)
Jeff Conaway (Taxi)
Julie McCullough (Growing Pains)

This infuriated me, for a number of reasons, but the greatest reason being: Julie McCullough got OLD, man! She's weathered! And it kills me to say this, because when she played Kirk Cameron's girlfriend on Growing Pains, I developed the biggest crush ever. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. And when I found out she was not only a Playboy Playmate but also got nekkid in the brilliant, brilliant Big Bad Mama II, my head damn near exploded. Julie McCullough has always had a special place in my heart. And yes, she still looks pretty good...but I guess I haven't seen her in a while. Yes, a small piece of my heart broke tonight watching Living In TV Land.

Where was I?

So the episode finally ends with Williams throwing out the first pitch. Only we never actually see the pitch. Instead, we see shots of Williams kicking his feet in the mound, wiping his brow, winding his arm up...then we see a horribly animated image of a ball flying in the air, and a shot of it landing squarely in the catcher's mitt. That's right: we never actually see the moment that the entire show has led up to. What a fucking gyp.

There are two moments in the show that are, at least, interesting, but I'll share them here so you don't have to waste your time. The first shows Williams doing a personal appearance at the American Payroll Association. It provides the only real moment in the show: him signing autographs for middle-aged women who had crushes on him long ago. He does seem like he truly appreciates his fans, and is comfortable with the fact that he'll always be, and only be, Greg Brady.

The second moment happens at the gym when Williams is training (inexplicably) for his first pitch. He's on the treadmill. A guy comes up and exclaims, "oh man! Greg Brady! I am such a big fan! You guys traveled around in that bus, singing songs!" Williams responds, "...that was The Partridge Family." The guy responds with, "oh, alright...well, good meeting you, man!" and leaves. The point is that the guy who approaches him is clearly a paid actor, and not a very good one. TV Land felt compelled to manufacture even this, the very smallest of moments, in the hopes of getting a cheap laugh. They don't get it, and they don't deserve your 22 minutes of viewing time.

Next week is Adam West. I'll still watch. I feel obligated to at least report back, now that some of you wrote me and said you were going to watch the series. But if Julie McCullough is in it again, I'm jumping out the window.

Tax Free Clothing!

2006-04-11T14:08:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Foxy, for alerting me to the news that clothing and shoes under $110 are now completely tax-free all year long!

Which is really good news for me since I don't think I've ever bought a piece of clothing over $110.

Where is the bathroom on the Millennium Falcon?

2006-04-11T13:44:00.000-04:00

All the answers to your burning Star Wars questions can be found here.

I think a few of the answers are bullshit, but that's just me. You gotta give 'em points for creativity.

The Secrets of Trader Joe's

2006-04-07T15:25:00.000-04:00

So I'm the last person to report on this, but Trader Joe's has invaded New York City. I made my first trip to Trader Joe's a month or so ago, although it was at their Plainview location, out on Long Island. And the next time I go to Trader Joe's, it'll be that location once again.

See, I stopped at the Union Square location last week to pick up some of the guacamole tortilla chips (which rock my world) and the tomato-garlic soup (which rocks Jess's world and makes me shudder from her breath afterwards). I filled up my cart with a good number of items, and only then did I happen to notice the line. The line that lined the entire perimeter of the fucking store.

I put everything back and left. It would have been quicker for me to go back to Astoria, get my car, and drive out to Plainview. Yeah, I'm a Bridge & Tunnel loser...but there's no line in Plainview. So suck it, Manhattanites. Enjoy your 65-minute wait for frozen chicken shumai!

Anyway, the nice thing about Trader Joe's opening in NYC is that I've recently read two great articles about the company.

First: For Trader Joe's, a New York Taste Test (New York Times). And I agree, dill can be very polarizing.

Second: An Insider's Guide to Trader Joe's (Slate). I've only been to the store once, and already I concur with this tip:

More Bags Per Dollar. Here's a fun one, New Yorkers. I'll be surprised if, within your first few shops at TJ's, you don't find yourself at the register thinking, Wow, that was cheaper than I expected. How often does that happen at Whole Foods?

When we were at the Plainview location, I kept chiding Jessica for filling up our cart with shit we didn't need (obviously ignoring the fact that all Trader Joe's sells is shit we don't really need). I figured our bill would be around $150. Nope. $66. Unbelievable.

You Put Your Windows In My Mac

2006-04-07T14:41:00.000-04:00

If you haven't heard already (and if so, how have you not heard already?), Apple has released their Boot Camp software for Intel Macs. Long story short: Macintosh computers can now boot up in either Windows XP or OS X. I was planning on writing about what an amazing thing this is, but John Gruber covers it way better than I ever could in "Windows: The New Classic."

One Year!

2006-04-07T11:10:00.000-04:00

I started running Plagiarist one year ago today. Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read, comment and/or contribute. I really appreciate it.

Some really nifty changes are coming to Plagiarist in the next couple of months. I look forward to sharing them with you.

Thanks again!

Everything You Know About Muzak Is Wrong

2006-04-06T14:14:00.000-04:00

It's easy to scan the length of this article and wonder if Muzak is really interesting enough to warrant all this information. But this piece is full of fascinating tidbits - too many to list here. All I know is that I need a job as an Audio Architect.

The New Yorker: The Soundtrack Of Your Life

Artists Hatin' On Artists

2006-04-06T11:34:00.000-04:00

And you thought the Metheny-Kenny G feud was bad! Well...okay, this one's really not as bad. But I do enjoy seeing Thomas Dolby get his panties in a bunch over...Kevin Federline. (anchorvoice) Stereogum has the story. (/anchorvoice) And in related news, it is still, indeed, Peanut Butter Feder Time, and Thomas Dolby was some kind of overdramatic mime at some point.

And isn't this a nifty poster?

Queensrÿche Returns

2006-04-04T11:57:00.000-04:00

OPERATION: MINDCRIME II electric boogaloo

Needs no words from me, really. Except for a few choice bits from this AllMusic review:

In any case the most startling thing about II is its sound: pure 1980s heavy metal. The band went back to exploring the kinds of technology used on the first segment and basically revisited it, retuned the guitars to A., and let it rip. Shockingly, it doesn't sound cheesy at all.

and

Tate looks at the current political and social landscape and can only say that "everything moves faster now/living at the speed of light," other than that, it's the same -- which is why a sequel was predicated in the first place.

and

There are some new factors on II: Michael Kamen is not on-board as the string arranger this time out; Ashif Hakik is.

(that's 'cause he's dead.)

There are guests vocalists here, of course, including Pamela Moore, Miranda Tate, and the voice of Dr. X: Ronnie James Dio!

Dio is a great choice. Dio has rocked for a long, long time.

Go pick up Operation: Mindcrime II today! Ronnie James Dio is standing by.

Ms. New Booty

2006-04-04T09:28:00.000-04:00

When your Baby Got Back get's old and tired, buy her a Ms. New Booty.

Today's Pranks

2006-04-01T08:30:00.000-05:00

If you're looking to see what's weird about the web today, this wiki is a really good place to start.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a new mate.

What To Watch: Living In TVLand: "William Shatner In Concert"

2006-03-31T21:19:00.000-05:00

I've only recently begun to watch the TV show Boston Legal (which, despite my best efforts, I still wind up calling Boston Public 90% of the time), and I've been absolutely fascinated by William Shatner's performance as Denny Crane. I think he does a tremendous job on the show and I'm just riveted when he's on screen.

For this reason, I decided to TiVo the first episode of TV Land's new television series, Living In TV Land, which chronicles the real lives of, shall we say, older TV stars. In upcoming weeks, the show will focus on Sherman Hemsley, Davy Jones and Barry Williams, among others, but the inaugural episode was entitled "William Shatner In Concert."

I had no idea what to expect, but imagined the show would be rather cheesy and gimmick-y like other shows focusing on these types of stars (The Surreal Life, My Fair Brady, etc). What can I say...I was dead wrong. Instead, what I found was a documentary that was interesting, well crafted and well edited, and, most importantly, honest.

"William Shatner In Concert" documents some daily (well, maybe not-so-daily) events in Shatner's life and interperses those with footage from a concert he did recently, featuring the amazing Ben Folds and Joe Jackson. The songs performed were from Shatner's album Has Been, which is actually a terrific piece of work. I was going to say that it's better than it has any right to be, but honestly, it's better than that. Shatner's speaking all the songs, but the lyrics are funny, topical, poignant - if you don't have it, pick it up. But I digress.

Anyway, we see this concert footage along with footage of Shatner at a Star Trek Convention; on a private jet with Leonard Nimoy; riding in a horse show; awaiting the birth of his grandchild; receiving his Emmy for his work on Boston Legal. There's a lot of nuance in the show, in the type of person Shatner is - or at least how he portrays himself - but I'll let you find all of that out on your own. If nothing else, you get to hear a bit of Joe Jackson's kick-ass performance on "Common People," one of the best songs on Has Been.

I can't imagine that all the other episodes will be as good, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

Repeat listings and a preview at Living In TV Land (TV Land.com)
William Shatner: Has Been (Official Website)

The Michael Jackson Credit Card Prank

2006-03-31T14:17:00.000-05:00

Didn't I just post about the dangers of working with those pesky credit card companies?

Here's another great example - and this is a fantastic prank. Boo on them for lack of pictures and charging to see the video, but then again, I may just pay the $2 to check it out. Kudos to them for pulling it off.

Enjoy The Michael Jackson Prank.

Don't shoot the puppy!

2006-03-30T16:19:00.000-05:00

Don't Shoot the Puppy
One of the hardest games, EVER.

Record Store...From The Past!

2006-03-29T15:00:00.000-05:00

In these days of diminishing vinyl, while we all watch the remnants of the vinyl era melt away on eBay or at the record shows, it’s easy to think back to the ‘50s, ‘60s and ‘70s when vinyl ruled and record shops were everywhere. If you ever wished those days would come back or you had a time machine, well your dream has come true, if only for a brief flash in the musical pan.

More stories and pictures here.

Eugene Landy Dies

2006-03-29T13:32:00.000-05:00

Eugene Landy, the "doctor" who so famously fought for complete and total ownership over Brian Wilson, has died.

I know instinctually how I felt about this, but just out of curiosity's sake, I went over to the Brian Wilson Message Board to see what the reaction was. The conversations there are generally biased to the point of amusement. But I was surprised to read this sentiment:

While we comment on Dr. L's passing I would remind several of his detractors that for many...Brian's best post treatment tunes were written with Landy still actively in the picture. The material on the unreleased Sweet Insanity album...coupled with that from his first solo lp is pretty darned impressive.

And...Brian is STILL cookin'. Important and worthy of the highest praise. That things deteriorated to the point that they did is terrible. That certain 'treatments' were not worthy of ever being repeated is a whole other story. BUT...the bottom line is the most important aspects of the association were successful.

Not bad points. But I thought this following sentiment put it best:

I was not a fan of his. He was sort of a pal of Brian Wilsons, so i suppose you have to show some respect, but I don't think he is going to the place where you carry a harp.

Beat Poetry with Jazz Background

2006-03-29T10:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is very nice, even just to have it opened in the backgroun and just sitting minimized.

Beat Poetry

(does anyone know who or what songs are being performed?)

Confessions of a Utility Actor

2006-03-28T09:43:00.000-05:00

Well, this article depressed the hell out of me. I'm including it here because I think it's very telling and informative, but if you're an actor, don't read it more than once, you'll want to jump out the window.

I'm including the full article here 'cause Salon makes you jump through hoops to read their shit, but if you want the direct link .... I wouldn't want anybody to think I was, y'know, plagiarizing.

Apologies for the formatting issues.

Mar. 25, 2006 Salon

Confessions of a utility actor
I'm not a star. I'm not even a "name." I'm just a workaday actor trying
to make a living. And after 20 years of waiting for that big break, I'm
ready to move on.

By Peter Birkenhead

When I tell people I'm an actor, the second thing they ask is
always, "What's so-and-so like?" So I keep a mental card catalog of
pithy responses designed to strike just the right balance between
regular-guy humility and possible access to medical records. George
Clooney is a hugger. Portia DeRossi smells really good. And Patrick
Dempsey is very skinny. This Tuesday night I'm on an episode
of "House," and sooner or later I know I'll be at a party telling
someone that Hugh Laurie rides a motorcycle to work.

But to get to that second question I have to answer the first -- "What
shows have you been on?"-- which is usually asked as if I'm on trial
for impersonating an actor. I don't know what makes people so junkyard-
dog proprietary about television shows and their favorite stars. Maybe
it's the intimacy of the TV-watching experience -- after all, we
usually do it at home, alone, on couches. We think of actors as people
we see every night in our living rooms, like old friends we just
haven't gotten around to meeting yet. So if we don't know who someone
is, how can he be an actor?

The answer: with a very thick skin.

I am not one of those "old friend" actors. I'm not a star -- I'm not
even a "name." But I'm not an extra either. Actors like me occupy the
space in people's minds reserved for utility infielders, station wagons
and pizza places. For most people, actors are divided into two groups:
Martin Sheen and furniture. You're part of the pantheon or part of the
scenery.

When I was young I studied with Uta Hagen, who wrote the seminal
actor's handbook "Respect for Acting." And that's what my friends and I
wanted back then: respect, for acting. That and girls. We very much
wanted our work to be well thought of, admired, but we also wanted to
be famous. Not too famous. Just enough to get sex, but not stalked.
Theater famous.

Mostly we just wanted to act. I know that may be hard to believe, but
when you do it semi-right, acting is actually about getting away from
your ego. It's like riding a rocket away from your ego and becoming
weightless. And the two things you're incapable of when you're floating
up there are thinking and caring what other people think. Any actor who
has ever taken even a few baby steps in the direction of that stupid
delight knows how close to perfection it feels -- and also how much sex
and respect it gets you afterward.

When I left New York eight years ago, I'd been doing pretty well -- a
couple of yearlong runs in the Broadway shows "Brighton Beach Memoirs"
and "Broadway Bound," a few national tours, a bunch of regional
theater. I had a decent if hardly spectacular career going -- I usually
got good reviews, and casting directors were sometimes flattering --
but after I had been in Los Angeles for a couple of weeks, I was pretty
sure I would eventually have a theater named after me. That's because,
on more than one occasion, casting directors had pulled their glasses
off very dramatically and said to me, "You are a great actor." Exactly
like that. Not "You're a great actor," with the contraction, but "You
are a great actor." All five words, spoken slowly. I was shocked. I was
used to auditioning in big rehearsal studios in New York, where I had
to project to be heard by the people at the other end of the room, but
in L.A. I was suddenly auditioning in tiny, little well-appointed
offices, w
ith upholstered furniture, and I was still giving theater-size
performances, full of life-and-death intensity and semaphore-like body
language. Yet I was getting this very dramatic praise.

So I started to believe it. I am a great actor. I stared at the ceiling
at night and rehearsed the avuncular speeches I would make to students
accepting the Peter Birkenhead Scholarship at Juilliard. And then,
after a third week passed and I hadn't signed an actual contract, I
started to realize that, in Hollywood-speak, "You are a great actor"
loosely translates to "You're an actor."

The thing you want to hear at an audition is silence -- the sound of
people quietly smiling. This means, Hey, we're gonna see you next week;
no need to blow smoke in case you become famous; you're getting the job
and that's flattery enough. Over the next few months, I learned how to
stop playing to the balcony and start playing to the couch -- and I
started to hear a lot more encouraging silence. I was getting the hang
of Hollywood.

I finally landed my first television job, playing a fast-talking
schmuck of an agent on a Steven Bochco show called "Murder One." Even I
was struck dumb by how good I was in the audition. I don't think I even
said "thank you" as I left the room, because I was too busy
thinking, "I am a great actor."

Now, there is almost no describing how terrible I was on "Murder One,"
but here's my best shot: You know that famous "deer in the headlights"
look? Well, imagine the same deer about two weeks later. You know,
after the stuffing and mounting. That's the kind of taxidermic look of
fear that you will see on my face if you ever see this scene, which you
will only if they create a show called "TV's Funniest Bloopers and
Apparent Brain Hemorrhages."

Here's what you won't see if you ever catch this episode: Bochco, I
swear, sitting five feet away from me, with his head in his hands.
Seriously. Like, "How did my life come to this?" Like, "How is it
possible that all the safeguards we have in place to prevent this kind
of disaster from happening could all fail on the same day?"

But I got better. I did some recurring roles on a few shows, and I was
a guest star on a bunch of others. I even did another Steven Bochco
show, "NYPD Blue," playing a fast-talking schmuck of a stockbroker
(hey, wait a minute …), whom Dennis Franz "liked" for a murder, and I
started settling into the Los Angeles version of the working actor's
life.

Here's what that life is like: Only 5 percent of people who call
themselves actors earn enough each year from acting to support
themselves. So the number of actors who drive to work in a Porsche, or
home through ornate electronic gates, is microscopic. I drive a Honda
Hybrid, and I park it on the street in front of my apartment building.
I did own a house once, with my ex-wife, but home ownership and
marriage are pretty fragile things for people who sometimes wonder if
they'll ever work again.

So I learned early that when I'm on a set I should do my best to enjoy
myself, which isn't always easy. A Hollywood set is basically a boredom
factory; I can't think of a single day job I've had that wasn't more
pleasant, in a material sense, than working in television. At least
when I waited tables I was in a decorated, well-lit place. There was
the smell of fresh food cooking, and sometimes music was playing. It's
not like that on a soundstage. A soundstage smells like plywood, heated
rubber and Teamsters. It sounds like the inside of a police van on a
stakeout, except when it sounds like a house being renovated. So I
usually find myself spending a lot of time visiting the "crafts
services table" -- the place where all the doughnuts and Twizzlers are
kept. Working in television can be as boring as watching television,
and it's best dealt with exactly the same way: by taking breaks to go
stare at food, and sometimes eat it.

Series regulars, the stars of the shows, all have time killing down to
an art. Tyne Daly knits like crazy. George Clooney shoots hoops. On the
best days, there's a real foxhole-buddies kind of feeling on the set,
and it's pretty easy for me to be seduced into believing I'm on a kind
of egalitarian, socialist TV kibbutz, where everyone comes to work in
jeans and eats breakfast together. There's a lot more getting along
than you might think, and everyone is busy pitching in. The Steadicam
guy is trying to walk backward around the actors as they do emergency
rhinoplasty, and the props guy is trying to find a scalpel that has
suddenly been added to the scene. It's Mickey and Judy with $10
million.

The first thing I do when I get to work is make friends with the
director of photography. He's the one responsible for the way every
shot is framed and lit. At my most well rested I have dark circles
under my eyes, and the D.P. is the one who decides whether I get to
look like a really tired Jerry Seinfeld or a dead Steve Buscemi. This
is the kind of thing I never cared about in New York, but need to care
about now.

I finally became a series regular on a very bad Ted Danson sitcom
called "Becker," playing his only mildly schmucky cousin/accountant.
Now, I'd be lying if I said my first thought wasn't "I'm gonna get to
take my new girlfriend to Ted Danson's house for lunch, and she's gonna
think I'm the shit." But my second thought was about getting back to
New York, and what a two-bedroom apartment might be going for in, oh,
about five years. I got tons of laughs during rehearsals for the pilot;
Ted Danson even told me I was "great" (uh oh), and the night we shot
the pilot, his wife, Mary Steenburgen, grabbed me by the arm and
said "I love your character most of all." Just before the show, I took
a walk around the place to soak in the feeling of my new home, and for
the first time since I'd worked on Broadway, I let myself imagine a
life that included enough health insurance to have children. But I was
fully fluent in Hollywood-speak by then, so I knew that when, at the
party on the set
afterward, the president of Paramount Television gave me a big hug and
said, "You are going to be at Paramount for a very long time," it meant
I was going to be at Paramount for about 11 more minutes. My character
was cut from the show a month later.

The executive producer called me to deliver the news and said he had
just gotten off the phone with Les Moonves, the president of CBS, and
that Les had said, among other things, "I'm a big Peter Birkenhead
fan." As my grandfather might have said, "With fans like that, who
needs hot air?"

I thought I would be devastated -- I wanted to be devastated. But the
truth is, when I saw an episode of "Becker" a few months later, I could
hear the distinct and comforting sound of a bullet whizzing by my head.
And you know what was most comforting of all? That it happened again,
right away. The first job I got after "Becker" was on "Frasier," and
that character was cut, too. I realized that losing jobs was just part
of the job. My metamorphosis into an L.A. actor was complete.

I've worked a lot since then, on shows like "Ally McBeal," "The West
Wing," "Six Feet Under" and "Grey's Anatomy" -- mostly in parts that
were interesting enough to keep me chasing the next job and well paying
enough to cover the rent. None of that would have happened if I hadn't
gotten hugged at Paramount, so I'm grateful things went the way they
did. And now they're going a new way.

The guiding principle in television is "get the shot," which means keep
shooting, and talking, no matter what happens, because it might be good
enough to move on and finish the episode on time and keep your job. So
actors keep plugging away, trying to get the shot -- get their shot at
making it -- even when the odds are staggeringly against them. But the
definition of "making it" keeps changing as you hit your 40s and people
like Donald Trump become stars.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still an actor -- I'm still available for the
calls when they come -- but mostly I'm busy with other things. I've
written the word "actor" in the "occupation" space on my tax return for
20 years, but this year I'll probably put "writer."

My old dogmas about doing only the noble work of theater became
obsolete as soon as I discovered the nobility to be had in punching a
studio clock and getting paid for an honest day's work. But I'm not
sure how much longer I'll be doing that. Being an actor requires a
belief in limitless possibilities, and these days I actually prefer
limits. When you suspect a star-making, life-changing gig is around
every corner it becomes difficult to believe in anything else. But I
still watch television, and I love seeing my friends when they're in
something. It's always like watching a small triumph: Someone's working
again after a dry spell, or got their dental insurance back.

A little happy ending, at least for now.

-- By Peter Birkenhead