Thursday, February 23, 2006

The untouchables Page 2

Sports fan or no, everyone should read the current Sports Guy mailbag devoted to confused/gleeful/outraged emails to the SG concerning Knicks GM Isiah Thomas' completely inexplicable trade for Orlando Magic shooting guard Steve Francis.

If you are not a basketball fan or don't know or care what the salary cap is, suffice to say that this trade is the latest in a long line of very questionable decisions by Thomas. Some have argued that Thomas seems to be trying to cripple the Knicks as a viable basketball franchise by stockpiling huge contracts of me-first players and replacing admitted problem players with even more expensive versions of the same player.

I am not much of a basketball fan, I know just enough about the NBA to know that Isiah is doing a heroically poor job at being a GM. I flagged this post for your review so you could all marvel at the number of emails sent on this subject (And this surely isn't all of them) and to highlight this one, which touches on a brilliant idea that should be expanded upon.

"Isiah just brought Stevie Franchise to the Knicks. Has Isiah reached the point where we can't make fun of him anymore because it is too easy? I think he has joined two-man luge, Tori Spelling, Dr. Scholl's Gellin' commercials, and Tom Cruise in an elitely pathetic group. Should there be a hall of fame for such people?"
Phil, Richmond, VA

Not a hall of fame. Too much effort. A list sounds about right. Some people, places and things are just too goddamn easy to make fun of. So easy that making fun of them not only does not produce the desired effect of ridiculing them, it actually makes you, the taunter, look lame, derivative. It's the comedic equivalent of kicking someone's wheelchair over, or setting a kitten on fire (nah, setting kittens on fire is funny). Note that presence on this list is very time sensitive and transitory,. There was a time when making fun of Nick Lachey was the very essence of good comedy, but now, after he's been dumped and has resorted to picking up Matt Leinart's castoffs and suing Jessica for spousal support, does he really need us piling on?

Anyway, I'll start this preliminary list and throw it open for debate and discussion in the comments.

The Comedic Untouchables - as of 2/23/06.

Michael Jackson
Bronson Pinchot
Anna Nicole Smith
"The Miz"
Nick Lachey
Lepers, Mentally Retarded People and otherwise maimed/infirm/dying individuals
Zell Miller
That "god warrior" lady
Professional Wrestling
R. Kelly
The Star Wars Kid
The entire cast of Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place
Jon Pareles (just kidding)
Chad Lowe
Rod "He Hate Me" Smart
Willie Aames
Dennis "Mr. Belding" Haskins (Note, the rest of saved by the bell, fair game forever)
Snow (not Vanilla Ice, he is also fair game for the rest of time)

What say you all?



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