Friday, June 23, 2006

Stevie Nicks Tortures American Troops

From Contact Music:

Singer STEVE NICKS is doing her part to support US troops by donating hundreds of iPods to soldiers wounded in Iraq. The former FLEETWOOD MAC star regularly visits soldiers at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. She explains, "I refuse to be pulled into the politics of war. But once these soldiers sign up, go to war and come back to a hospital, I will do whatever it takes to make them better." Nicks has provided iPods loaded with her music, along with fellow artists AEROSMITH and ELVIS PRESLEY.
Let me ask you this: if you were a wounded soldier, would hearing Stevie Nicks' voice make you feel better? Or make you long for the swift hand of death?


At 6/23/2006 4:05 PM, Blogger Michael said...

what's wonderful about the article and Jason's analysis, is that both were prepared without knowledge of the Emmy Nominated South Park episode "Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants"

The boys sent 4 dollars to children in Afghanistan. The children, not wanting to feel beholden to Americans, sent back all they had to send, a moldy diseased goat. The boys were not allowed to keep the goat and wanted to send it back, lest it "choke on the sweet air of freedom." When they found out the only planes headed for Afghanistan were military planes they snuck the goat onto an Army base:

[The military base, night. Jeeps roll in as a batallion is assembled in the parking lot. A large cargo plane receives the vehicles and other cargo]
General: Alright, troops, we depart for Afghanistan in five minutes! Let's move out!
Stan: [now in the base with the others] Alright, come on. We just gotta get the goat on one of these planes.
Soldier 1: [off-screen] Isn't this exciting, Tony? [the boys hide behind some boxes nearby] We're finally gonna see some action.
Tony: [the soldiers, in desert fatigues, appear] Yeah, and uh, I hear that as soon as we land we get a USO show.
Soldier 1: We do! [draws close] Stevie Nicks is goin' to perform.
Tony: Hoh, Stevie Nicks. Huh, I love her! [they move on]
Stan: [peeks out] Okay, it's clear. Come on! [moves out with the goat and the other boys. A shadow falls across them]
Soldier: [off screen] Hey you!
Tony: [aims his rifle at the boys] What the hell do you think you're doing here?!
Goat: ...Ba-a-a-a-a.
Tony: [chastened, quickly retracts the rifle] H-uh, I'm sorry, Miss Nicks, uh. [looks around] Hey guys, this is Stevie Nicks. [a black soldier walks up]
Soldier 2: Oh wow!
Goat: ...Ma-a-a-a-a.
Soldier 3: Uh, can I get a picture
Soldier 4: Miss Nicks. Over here, Miss Nicks! [takes a picture]
Goat: ...Ma-a-a-a-a.
Tony: Oh... M- Miss Nicks, I... I don't wanna bother you, but... could you sing a quick Fleetwood Mac for us. Could ya?
Other Soldiers: Oh yeah. Please. Come on, come on. Please. Yeah.
Goat: ...Ma-a-a-a-a. Ma-a-a-a-a.
Soldiers: Oh! No way! That was wild! That was great!
Soldier 3: Wait till I tell my sister about this; she is gonna flip!
Stan: Well, uh, we've gotta get Miss Nicks on the plane to Afghanistan, guys.
Tony: Oh, can we just get a-
Stan: [turns right and walks off] Ah, sorry. Mss Nicks isn't answering any more questions.
Tony: Oh, sure, we understand. Move along. [the soldiers watch the goat walk away with the boys]
Soldier 3: ...She looks great
Tony: She looks great


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