"A Little Beam Of Light"

This really lends itself to Down With Snark more than Plagiarist, but I just can’t resist.

Every once in a while, the New York Times does an article where there is plenty of opportunity for maximum snark, but they don’t take the bait. Instead, they write the article completely straight-faced, and leave the snark to idiot bloggers like me.

But even I don’t have to write it. The snark is just so obvious that to articulate it would be a waste of time. I’m still going to make some comments, though.

The article in question is titled “Nicole Richie, Famous for Her Fame, and Now for a Book.” The article covers Richie at a recent signing of her latest “novel,” supposedly fiction, but…well, nevermind. The whole article is a great (yet chilling) read, but here are my favorite passages:

Ms. Richie said that in the past she had been approached to write an advice book and an autobiography, but that she chose fiction because a novel allowed her the freedom to both edit and embellish her personal tale. "The Truth About Diamonds" (Regan Books) tells the story of a popular Hollywood socialite named Chloe Parker, who is the adopted daughter of a music star and his glamorous wife. Parker takes drugs, runs with a posse of wealthy brats and parties hard at all of the hottest nightclubs. She also stars in a reality series with a friend, who quickly turns into an enemy.

So let me get this straight: the thing that makes it fiction is the fact that the names are changed? Because, other than that, I'd bet that it’s exactly her story.

I stand corrected: there is at least one paragraph that definitely includes some opinionated comments, italcs/bold mine:

In this thinly veiled roman à clef, which Ms. Richie said she wrote herself, more than a few characters bear a startling resemblance to people in her real life. Parker, she admitted, is based on her before her stint in rehab for a heroin addiction, and DJ Ray on her fiancé, Adam Goldberg (known professionally as DJ AM), right down to the gastric bypass surgery. There is even a character called Nicole Richie. (Step aside, Jonathan Safran Foer.)

ZING!

Oooh, and my favorite part of all:

Ms. Richie, however, rejected any suggestion that Ms. Hilton was the inspiration for the character of Simone Westlake, a vapid opportunist who invites Parker to be her co-host on the reality series. "Simone was leggy and tall," she writes, "though no one knows exactly how tall because she'd never been seen out of pumps since puberty ... not even in her night-vision skin flicks, filmed strictly for private use, of course."

"It's not her," Ms. Richie insisted. "I've come across many people in my life that are like that."

I concur. I, too, have come across many reality co-hosts who have filmed raccoon-style pornos.

There are other passages that will send chills up your spine, such as when Nicole denies she has an eating disorder and is referred to as a “fashion icon in the making” by an editor at Teen Vogue. Oh, and father Lionel has a “pride attack” at the book-signing.

Decide for yourself whether Nicole’s living a healthy lifestyle. I love Hollywood!