R. Kelly - Trapped in the Closet...Chapter 3A

Jason and I were wondering what R. Kelly was going to do for his performance at the VMAs on Sunday, it wasn't like MTV was going to give him half an hour to act out all five parts of Trapped in the Closet.

Wonder no longer.

After an abbreviated video recap of parts 1 and 2 R bounded onstage and preceded to lip-synch his way through part 3, playing all the parts himself of course, and then presented a new section of the brilliant operetta which answers the question, what happened with everyone in the original apartment after R. Kelly stormed out to find out who was in his house?

I expect Jason to weigh in with a full summary. Everyone should watch though, the clip features high quality lip-synching and an introduction from Eric Roberts who very clearly has no idea what he is introducing...or where he is.

Music Lovers...

I just started toying with a new website/service called Pandora. Check it out and tell me what you think. I'm impressed so far, but want to play a little more before blogging about it.

The Racist AP

My officemate just sent me this composition of two images. I've verified both via news websites on the 'net.

I've had to shrink them a bit to fit them into Blogger's template, so you can find a more legible version here.



Unbelievable.

I imagine this will be corrected within hours...don't expect those above links to last long.

Armored Bear Suit

Since there's so much bear vs. human discussion, one needs a Armored Bear Suit

Grizzly bear fighting suits for sale on eBay

Posted May 11, 2004, 8:33 AM ET by Peter Rojas
Related
entries: Misc. Gadgets

You may not think you need a special suit of armor for fighting bears, but you really do. Fortunately that semi-obsessive guy in Canada (yes, the one from Project Grizzly) who makes them is selling a couple of his creations on eBay.

We're Here! We're Queer! We Don't Want Any More Bears!

As you may know, I've been a little obsessed with bears and the maulings that bears seem to enjoy enacting upon humans.

Granted, now that I am back from my camping trip, the worry of impending death by Grizzly (or Brown) has lessened. Still, two recent articles remind me that, well, bears are still out there mauling people.

Why do bear maulings, or even interactions between bears and humans, occur?

1) The bear has smelled something yummy on you or your stuff.
2) The bear was minding its own business, you surprised him (or her), and now he must break you.

Preventing #1 is done by taking anything that smells, from food to deodorant to the clothes you cooked in, and hanging them on a pole many, many feet in the air. Even if the bear smells your stuff, once he figures out he can't get to it, he'll (supposedly) go away.

Preventing #2 is done by making lots of noise as you're going along your merry way, hiking or what not. If the bear hears you coming, he'll (supposedly) go away.

I say "supposedly" in both cases, because, THANK GOD, I did not run into any bears. Is it because I followed #s 1 & 2? Maybe. I can't say for sure, but I bet it didn't hurt.

A lack of #2 prevention happened in Glacier National Park last Thursday. Two hikers - a man and his daughter - hiked around a blind turn and startled a bear and her two cubs. The bear essentially beat the shit out of the two until they rolled off a 30 foot cliff. (Doesn't this seem like something Homer would do?) Read the story here.

Now, I'm not saying that it was the hikers' fault. It was a blind turn, maybe they did make noise and it wasn't heard, and again, I'm not a bear expert - maybe that particular bear would have stuck around anyway. (In all the literature I've read, it seems that nobody really knows what a bear is going to do in a startling situation.) All I know is holyshitsomebodygotmauledbyabearthreedaysafterileftthere.

Oh, whoops, I forgot ANOTHER reason why bears sometimes maul people! If you're a person who believes you can talk to the animals, make them your friends and even pet them on the nose, sometimes they will turn on you and kill both you and your girlfriend.

I realize that he's done some really good things, but I'm finding it hard to feel much sympathy for this guy. Apparently various wildlife officials feel the same way, judging from this great quote:

Treadwell claimed to have identified 21 vocalizations and body languages in grizzlies. If that's the case, says Bartlebaugh, the one he didn't recognize was the most important: "It was the one that says, Leave me alone."

Okay, this is all I'll say about bears. I'm happy I didn't see any in their natural habitat. Thank you beary much.

When I think of you I touch myself... on the R Train

Okay, now I don't get this at all... I mean, whacking off on the train? In front of everyone? I have seen people walking around with their shit hanging out but actively stroking it is totally different.

Well at least this guy is now enshrined forever on the internet... like Mahir, Super Greg, Jenni, and all those people who get 15 seconds here.

This happened to me today right after an interview I had. Luckily I landed the job so I was in a pretty defiant mood.

I was riding on the R train uptown at 3pm on Friday August 18th when a man exposed and began molesting himself on the train. It was at the very end of the train but it wasn't completely empty. A japanese couple sat on the other side and the man was sitting adjacent to me. I was minding my own business, taking the train to work as usual when this man got on the car and kept staring at me. I tried to avoid eye contact with him but I had a feeling he was up to no good when he kept massaging his crotch. I couldn't believe this guy had the audacity to do something like this in the middle of the day! So I took out my cell-phone and turned on the camera. Then I aimed the camera at him and took a quick shot. He quickly zipped himself up and got off at the next stop (it was two-three stops before union square). That didn't prevent me from getting a really good shot of him in the act.

Afterwards, I asked the japanese couple if they saw anything. They saw the man but they didn't notice what he was doing. I felt compelled to report this to the police so that it would prevent this from happening to other women. I said that if they did see anything, then they could help me go to the police and write it in the report. I got off at 34th street and reported it to a token booth operator. She was very helpful and directed me to a policewoman. The policewoman wrote down my description of the man and I asked her if she wanted the picture but she didn't take it. She told me that she would radio other officers and they would be on the lookout for that man. I couldn't believe she didn't take the picture, it had a pretty clear view of this person.

This has happened to plenty of my girlfriends in the past and it traumatized them, it feels like someone has violated you when this happens. Here is a chance that we can expose one of these sickos. Who knows what might happen later on if this isn't reported, this guy could go on to assault or rape women. I hope that we can stop this from happening to other women in the future.

2 Big Macs have less fat than 1 Chipotle burrito!

For some reason out in California there's these Fresh Burrito/Taco joints and people think that they are healthier for you. Ummm.. no.

Refried beans has lots of fat.
Tortillas even when not fried have lard in them.
Whatever meat you pick isn't going to be all that healthy either.
Sour Cream and Guacamole.. fuhgettaboudit!

I did not however think that it was as bad as this...

2 Big Macs have less fat than 1 Chipotle burrito!

FourFour has a killer post today exposing that a vegetarian Chipotle Burrito has 52 grams of fat and 1168 calories!! (just the veggie basics: beans, rice, cheese, guac, salsa, sour cream, and lettuce - not even any meat!) scroll down to see the details and calculator they used. that is so fucked up! Chipotle is part of the McDonalds corp, notorious for putting tons of bad stuff in their food to make it more addictive. Looks like they're doing the same at Chipotle, but that chain seems to be flying under the radar, for now. we hope the word gets around - 52 grams of fat and 1168 calories (and we usually get some meat in ours) is just not right. a Big Mac has only 21.5 grams of fat and 485 calories in comparison. as much as it pains us, so long Chipotle! we'll never go back.
(image via Rachelleb)

Death By Caffeine

Nobody drinks more soda than Z and my mother-in-law (although I think she drinks caffeine-free Diet Coke, I can't remember). I'd like to know how they do on this Death By Caffeine test. I guess most of my caffeine comes drom Snapple Peach Iced Tea, so according to this chart, I could drink almost 300 bottles before dying. Of course, the site doesn't mention what size bottle/can we're talking about. Guess I'll have to actually try the experiment another day.

R.I.P. Robert Moog

Jason definitely would have put this up, and he will doubtless expand on this posting when (if?) he returns from his bear-evasion holiday.

Robert Moog was undoubtedly one of the most important people in the history of music in the 20th century, (right up there with Les Paul who is one of three or four people who can claim to have invented the electric guitar, and also invented multi-track recording). Synthesizers are as prominent today as they ever have been, 99% of modern pop and hip hop music is purely electronic. Entire genres of music are rooted in Moog's inventions and never would have happened without him. Moby probably has a compass that points to Robert Moog so he can pray to him five times a day.

For Jason, information on Moogfest '05, which I'm sorry we missed, hopefully there will be a 2006 installment. Also, the homepage of analog synth aficionados The Moog Cookbook, be sure to check out the photo gallery, keytars abound!! Actually, why doesn't Jason have a keytar? Jason needs a keytar. Who's with me?

White Trash or Ghetto A/C

HOMEBREW AC has instructions on how to build a simple heat exchange system for a fan. While I have lived in an attic in NJ during some of the hottest days of the early 90's, I never will live without airconditioning ever again, even if I had to make something like this... or like Mosquito Coast's ice machine/Air conditioner


This got a bit more attention than I expected! Greetings to all visitors from CTV's Canada AM, The Record, CBC, NPR, Slashdot, and anywhere else I missed. Feel free to contact me at gmilburn@gmail.com.

My name is Geoff Milburn, and I currently attend the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada. I'm taking Civil Engineering, and tuition is a bit steep. As such, I have limited funds and a cheap house without air conditioning. To avoid dying this summer, I've built a primitive air conditioner. It's a basic heat exchanger, using water as the medium. You'll probably need to fiddle a bit with the dimensions of the supplies based on your resources and preferences.

Shameless plug: My next coop work term is January to April, 2006. Any engineering or financial firms looking for an intern with strong academic skills and the ability to implement his ideas in the real world, I'd love to hear from you.

AOLer Spammer Hummer Contester

AOL Spammer Contest

Well, at least they aren't keeping the money and making more CD's to give away to everyone...

And Jason was afraid of a bear-mauling...

Lions and elephants on the Great Plains?

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- If a group of prominent ecologists have their way, lions and elephants could someday be roaming the Great Plains of North America.

The idea of transplanting African wildlife to this continent is being greeted with gasps and groans from other scientists and conservationists who recall previous efforts to relocate foreign species halfway around the world, often with disastrous results.

But the proposal's supporters say it could help save some species from extinction in Africa, where protection is spotty and habitats are vanishing. They say the relocated animals could also restore the biodiversity in North America to a condition closer to what it was before humans overran the landscape more than 10,000 years ago.

Now there's a great idea. Instead of treating the disease, let's treat the symptoms. But wait! This man makes a good point:

"It is not restoration to introduce animals that were never here," said University of Washington anthropologist Donald K. Grayson.

He's right - the word "restoration" does, in fact, denote a return to conditions that previously existed!

"I wonder how many calves or lambs it would take to feed a family of lions for a month?" Pilcher mused. "We sort of know what it takes for wolves, but something tells me we would be in a whole new ball game."

Gee, I'd say so. But I'm sure adding a few humans to their diet will take care of any deficiencies.

Critics also point to calamitous relocations of foreign species in Australia. Rabbits brought from Europe swarmed across parts of the Outback, and noxious cane toads brought from South America to control bugs in sugar cane fields killed native wildlife.

The authors of the new plan say they are not discouraged.

Golly, that's nice to hear. In face of the mountains of historical evidence that transplanting foreign species always yields unexpected results and, most likely, disastrous ones, these folks display remarkable sticktoitiveness.

...a larger American cheetah once stalked pronghorn on these lands, with both species evolving special features that enabled them to accelerate to 60 mph. Today, pronghorns rarely are chased, except by the occasional pickup truck.

In Africa, modern cheetahs are being exterminated as vermin, with fewer than 2,000 remaining in some countries. Relocation could help both species retain important traits, the plan's proponents say.

(emphasis mine) Okay, what gives? What makes traits important other than allowing the animal to survive in its environment? The world was constantly changing long before humans existed and organisms simply adapted or died - and they still do. We adapt to live. I'm surprised that any scientist who understands evolution could possibly suggest taking a snapshot in time and hope to preserve those traits as if they were inherently more valuable than other traits. It's one thing to stave off outright extinction; it's entirely something else to attempt to prevent change based on arbitrarily chosen standards.

Donlan concedes that lions would be a tough sell to Americans.

"Lions eat people," he said. "There has to be a pretty serious attitude shift on how you view predators."

Thanks, Captain Obvious. Thank you and good night.

Chunky hunky

There's an episode of Will & Grace where Karen and Jack are watching TV flipping through the channels. As they flip through the channels, they exclaim,"Fat man, skinny wife, fat man, skinny wife," and I started to wonder about it. I thought, "Ooh King of Queens, Still Standing, According to Jim... etc." It just dawned on me, "Honymooners." Ralph Kramden and Alice Kramden... the original "Fat man skinny wife."

chunky hunky
fourfour spy cams the Jersey shore and comes back with killer photos and the definitive post on lusting after chunky guys in - Endless Chunk. a fantastic read!... "South Jersey is a haven for (or maybe our nation's capital of) the slightly overweight, so having been raised there, it's probably no coincidence that I dig stocky guys."

coincidentally, Playgirl has an article this month that chubby guys are in. as the NY Daily News wrote today... "Forget waxed chests and rock-hard abs. A new survey finds ladies like their men scruffy, a wee bit chubby - and definitely not a metrosexual."

There's also Beauty and the Beast: Why are fat sitcom husbands paired with great-looking wives?

Well at least I don't need to worry about going to the gym.....

Plagiarist Links

Some of this week's links come from the 8/3/05 edition of the Manhattan Users' Guide. If you live in the NYC area, I highly recommend subscribing - one e-mail a day with various tips about the city and surrounding areas, from movers to carpet cleaners to events and sales happening each week.

I'm going backpacking for the next week. Guest bloggers (okay...Brian), do your worst.

20Q.net - A fun distraction. It correctly guessed "business card," "pretzel," "picture frame," and "calculator." It took 25 questions for "gummy bear" and did not correctly guess "my penis." (I may have answered the "is it bigger than a bread box?" question incorrectly.) Let me know if you trip it up!

Fantastic new Starbucks commercial - I laughed my ass off. Waxy mentions it along with this Nutragrain ad. Man, I AM a plagiarist.

The new Simpsons Season Six box set strays from sets 1-5 and employs different, cool packaging. I imagine that real-life Comic Book Guys are already complaining about it not fitting in their DVD shelves, and the fine folks behind the Simpsons box have anticipated their whining. Check out their website - and click through to choose a reason for wanting a new box.


Show And Tell Music - A collection of odd, exciting and crazy album covers from way back when. It's staggering to think about how much music has never made it to compact disc. In many of these cases, it's for the best. There are too many excellent covers for me to link to. Okay, maybe just one. Post your favorites.

Ethanography at Micky D's - a great story by Grant, but I want answers, dammit.

Normally I refuse to watch television shows about actors (it's enough just trying to live the life of one), but this one seems like it might have some merit. On the TiVo it goes.

The Universal Packing List and, along with it, One Bag (all about packing and traveling light)

Oh, the number of times I've wanted to use this...

Did you ever hear the words "fucking hell" in "Hey Jude?" Find out about that possibility and more in What Goes On - an exhausting list of Beatles Anomalies. (Sadly, I've had the argument about who is singing "She Loves You" at the end of "All You Need Is Love" for many years.) Gosh, Beatles fans are crazy!

HousingMaps - A fantastic mash-up of Google Maps and Craigslist

In honor of my post on the Office Space SE DVD, feel free to use this cover sheet for your own purposes.

Ligers!

That is all. Godspeed.

Filipinos Represent!!!!

Okay, so maybe GWB has his issues, but we know he's going to get some comfort food... maybe some late night TapSiLog or some lumpia shanghai.

White House Hires First Woman Chef

(CBS/AP) Kitchen duties may have traditionally been viewed as women's work, but not at the White House. Until now: Cristeta Comerford has been named executive chef.

After an extensive six-month search, first lady Laura Bush announced Sunday that Comerford was chosen from hundreds of applicants to head the executive kitchen. A naturalized U.S. citizen from the Philippines, she will be the first woman and first minority to hold the post.

The 42-year-old Comerford has been an assistant chef at the White House for 10 years. She worked under former executive chef Walter Scheib III, who resigned in February.

And while he's at it, he should be listening to the Black Eyed Peas, Apl the Filipino hip hop singer from the group.

In the most offbeat selection in "Monkey Business," Apl.de.ap of Black Eyed Peas raps on a song called "Bebot" about the joys of eating with one's fingers, drinking with friends and a popular Filipino delicacy called balut.

I cannot believe that Balut is the celebrated in Hip Hop culture now...

Eat Balut

Believe it or not, in certain parts of the world, it's a custom to eat soft-boiled eggs containing partially developed duck embryos. Filipinos call them "balut." Here at Fear Factor we simply call them gross.

We knew that balut - also known as the "treat with feet" and the "eggs with legs" - would make for a great Fear Factor stunt. But the trick was in finding out where to get a hold of some here in Los Angeles.

yeah... I think they are gross to. Never eaten them and don't think that I ever will. There was one american friend we got to eat one during the "gym" days, convinced him to just open it up and pop it in his mouth. He exclaimed,"I feel feathers, a beak, feet..." Friends just cheered... "EAT! EAT! EAT!"

umm yeah... No thank you.

Well, this is awkward.

Poor Brian Wilson. Poor Hard Rock.

Christopher, Walken. For. President.

Okay, I'm still not sure if this is really real, or not, but it seems that actor, and impressionist favourite, Christopher Walken has decided to run for President of the United States in the 2008 election. Finally, a reason to actually watch the State of the Union.

Christopher Walken for President 2008

Update: Well, that didn't take long. The Washington Times has debunked the rumour.

Ball... Ball... Strike!

my baloney has a speed limit
wonder if the toll operator got a free dog? Jamie Perez sent us this great drive-by shot of the Weenie Mobile on the NYS Thruway...


TRUMPS GUIDE TO ANAL SEX
Okay... I was going to make this as a single post but it just cannot stand by itself.. okay maybe if you read the poetry below it...


The Money Shot
We're having some brilliant thunderstorms this evening in New York City. I'm dogsitting for some friends this weekend and their place happens to have a great view of the Empire State Building. I took my camera out hoping to grab a few shots as the storms approached but I never thought I'd get this lucky.

Gospel Mimes

I just don't know what to say about this... first I "hear" the best Aristocrats joke as done by a Mime, and now this....

as I watched the flash animation, I thought, "And everyone was Kung Fu Fighting!" and then black men in white face... too much fodder already.

Hard Rock Relocates, And Smashes

The Hard Rock Café is moving from 57th to Times Square. (Where have I been? This is the first I'm hearing of this.) They're taking over 1501 Bway, according to this press release. (Bri, wasn't 1501 an office building? I could have sworn I used to go to auditions there.)

But the best part is the guitar smash. Oh, nothing pisses off Mike like a guitar smash. This should make him cringe:

Traditionally, Hard Rock executives smash a guitar or two at the opening of a cafe. However, Hard Rock has decided to make its grand entrance by smashing 100 guitars, creating the World's Largest Guitar Smash on the world's greatest stage -- Times Square. On Friday, August 12, more than 100 Gibson guitars will be smashed simultaneously outside the new home of Hard Rock Cafe New York, signaling its official opening. Members of the Hard Rock family will be joined by several New York notables and celebrities, including Steven Van Zandt and Brian Wilson, for the guitar smash, a moment that will go down in rock history. For each guitar smashed, Hard Rock will donate a new guitar to Peace Games, extending the influence of music to the masses. Rita Gilligan, one of the original servers from the 1971 opening of the first Hard Rock Cafe in London, will be leading this historic smash.

Mike, I vote that you go down there and protest. I mean, yeah, they're donating the guitars, but still. And poor Brian Wilson is going to be so confused.

Steve Winwood at Bowery Ballroom WTF????

ummmm okay.

Tickets

The Idiocy of Samples

Since I've been featuring free music on here whenever I can, I have to say thank you to the artists/record labels/websites who are smart enough to realize that you're going to attract more fans by including a full song. I despise these little 30-second samples that seem to be on the majority of artist webpages today. What the hell am I going to figure out in 30-seconds? I do admit that I usually can tell, from the first 15-20 seconds, whether I'm going to like any given song, but I always listen to the full track. For example, I'm still not digging the verses of "War On Sound," by Moonbabies - but that unbelievable chorus gets me every time. So I imagine the rest will grow on me. If the record company had only given me those first 30 seconds, I may not have investigated further.

The 30-second sample disrespects my intelligence and ear for music, but also disrespects the artist, by implying that a certain 30-second sample is all that is crucial of an artist's song. I know this is the way radio has worked for years, in focus groups and phone surveys, but I still don't buy into it.

Borrowed Tunes is a fantastic website. Insightful and critical reviews of various releases, as well as at least two mp3s from the album(s) being reviewed. Their mp3 policy says it best:

MP3s are kept up for approximately 1 week. The purpose of this site is to give people the information they need to make good music purchasing decisions. We believe the least the music industry can do is give people the opportunity to listen to a couple of complete songs at their leisure. We hate "samples" and "snippets". They encourage impatient listening and a straight-to-the-chorus mentality (which isn't always a bad thing, mind you). We will be happy to comply with any request to remove offending files.

My suggestion:

Artists, take your entire album, and encode it as either a streaming file, or if you're really wild, as one very long mp3. Encode it at a very low bitrate, say, 24kpbs. If you want, overdub a short vocal "fingerprint" (like the band name) in the middle of each track, to ensure that nobody is going to want to keep it around as a definitive copy. (Radio stations used to do this when playing exclusive pre-releases.) When I've heard your entire album, I can make an educated decision about whether I want to purchase it. If you believe in your album, you should have no problem with me hearing the entire thing before buying it.

Are there some clunkers on there that you're really not proud of, but needed for filler? (The hell you say.) Okay, fine. Give me four songs in the above format. If I hear four songs off the same album, and I like all of them, I'm yours. It's how I became interested in artists like Stars, Hem, Sufjan Stevens, Over The Rhine, Patty Griffin, Josh Rouse, Beth Orton, Susan Tedeschi...the list goes on. (It's also how I became disinterested in artists like....well, I'll not name names. But suffice to say I have many releases that have a couple good songs on them, with the rest being dreck.) Waltham, I already ordered your disc, after hearing only two songs off your release and one off your E.P. on Accident Hash. See? That's good enough for me. Just trust me. (Rykodisc obviously isn't subject to major-label mentality.) Additionally, many artists on the Podsafe Music Network are including multiple songs. Good for them.

By encoding at a low bitrate, you're not giving me anything that I'd use on a regular basis, if I dug the album. You're also giving me an easily manageable and downloadable file that won't take up extreme bandwith on your end, give me an hour-long download or my end, or fill up my iPod.

Do you listen before you buy? Are samples enough for you? Any other better suggestions?

Plagiarist Free Music Picks

The Lascivious Biddies

This week, I picked two from Fingertips which really caught my ear.

"Freshman Thesis" - Thee More Shallows

"Vermillion" - Mercury Rev

The third track on Fingertips this week ("Fall Apart Again" by Brandi Carlile) wasn't a wower for me, but still very good.

Again, I've been listening to Accident Hash. I've sold a few people on the Hash so far - if you're into podcasts, check it out - a great mix of music from C.C. Chapman. Today I caught a track by a band called The Lascivious Biddies. - this is some wonderful, original, jazzy, folky stuff. They play Joe's Pub in September. Go over to their page on the Podsafe Music Network, where you can listen to a few tracks. (Or, download this .m3u from CDBaby, which is a streaming file of 12 samples.)

Scary. And Liberating. And Scary. And Liberating.

And beautiful.

PostSecret

Interviewing Nobody, For Booty!

WFMU: "Phil Collins Minus One and Other Promo Scams"

In this excellent blog entry, Brian Turner discusses the old-school radio practice of supplying radio stations with "interview" LPs, on which an artist is featured answering questions, sans the actual questions. With the help of a printed interview sheet, the local DJ can ask the questions, then play the LP, and make it seem as if they were able to get a star artist to appear in West Bumblefuck. Brian describes it much better than I do, and includes a link to an mp3 of a Phil Collins interview record.

I have a personal story about this. In the early '90s, when I was hunting down anything and everything related to George Michael and/or Queen, I came upon a promo CD called (if I recall correctly) "George Michael: Answers Without Prejudice." (His most recent release at that time was entitled "Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1.") I thought it was a typical interview disc, but when I listened to it, I realized it was exactly like Brian describes. Tracks 1-15 consisted of a normal dialogue between interviewer and interviewee, but tracks 16-30 were just George's answers. The liner notes listed the questions that the DJ should be asking in order to get the right response.

For fun, I popped in the CD, set up an external tape recorder across the room (for inclusion of ambient noise), and recorded myself asking him the questions. I even figured out some of the places where I could ad-lib some "hmms" or laughs, in George's natural pauses.

When my girlfriend came over (a big George Michael fan, btw), I asked her if she had ever heard my interview with George Michael. She seemed pretty skeptical, and asked where I had met George Michael. Figuring that the jig was up, I just went for broke and came up with the most unbelievable scenario I could imagine: that George Michael happened to be visiting in the area of my summer camp (in the middle of West Bumblefuck, of course), and stopped by the summer camp for a radio interview.

(!)

She asked to hear the tape. I played it for her.

Remarkably, she bought the entire thing. Hook, line, and sinker. She was duly impressed. I was going to tell her the truth, but then I got booty that night. I'm pretty sure it was because of my interview. So obviously I was comfortable living this lie.

She still doesn't know the truth. While I have since met George Michael in real life, he has never sat down with me for a lengthy interview about his introspective songwriting process. Nor do I know why she'd think I would have the insight to ask such questions at age 15.

****
I had no idea these types of interview records existed before I picked up the GM disc, but once I did, it was easy to detect when radio stations were utilizing them. In fact, it seemed painfully obvious to me. And I was hearing them on major NYC stations to boot.

If the 22 MB Phil Collins file is too much for you, at least check out the Weezer station IDs, where the guys in the band are forced to repeat the same dialogue over and over and over, only changing the station name and location. Note that Rivers isn't present on the IDs; clearly (and unsurprisingly) he wasn't going to put up with this shit. Listen carefully: you can hear the souls being sucked out of these guys as the track progresses. (Either that or they're drinking while recording.)

The station ID chore has been in practice for many years. I have a Beach Boys Pet Sounds-era bootleg where Mike Love and Carl Wilson do radio promos for "Caroline, No" - which, ironically, was issued as a Brian Wilson solo single at the time.

Office Space SE

Finally!

From my favorite DVD-related website, The Digital Bits:

And here's news we've been waiting a long time for. Fox will release the Office Space: Special Edition (with More Flair) on 11/1. Look for the DVD to include a new anamorphic widescreen transfer, deleted scenes, a behind-the-scenes documentary and audio commentary with writer/director Mike Judge.

I am so happy.

The Tupac Of TV Shows, Or Please Pay Attention To Me

CNN: Actor: "Chappelle's Show" is over

"Chappelle's Show is over, man. Done...now I can go out and do stand-up. I'm getting movie offers. It's off the hook."

Best of luck to you...um...Eddie Murphy's brother!

These Kittays Can Jump!

These Kittays Can Jump has captured a few cats in action sequences...



When evil cats are in your midst, you rely on the superheros of your town... Recent superhero sightings of Metropolis and New York City...

Television DVD Releases

I was going to buy the Cosby Show Season One DVD Set, but look at the Amazon comments: apparently, syndicated versions of the shows are being used instead of the originals. This reviewer, Brad, puts it best:

Over the years, television commercial breaks have lengthened, and older series in syndication have suffered for it. When you watch a rerun of your favorite TV show, it can have anywhere from two to four minutes edited out to make room for more commercials, depending on the show's age.

"The Cosby Show" is no exception to this rule. During the 1984-1985 season (when the show debuted), the average length of a half-hour show was twenty-four minutes with about six minutes allotted for commercials. In 2005, the average length of a half hour show is twenty-one minutes. So the versions we see umpteen times a day on TBS, WGN, Nick At Nite and various local stations have more than two minutes cut out of them.

But that's okay, because the upcoming release of "The Cosby Show's" inaugural season will include all the footage from the NBC airings we haven't seen in over twenty years, right?

(plagiarist note: wait for it!)

Wrong.

In their infinite wisdom, Carsey Werner and UrbanWorks have decided to allow consumers to plop down a good portion of their hard-earned cash for the syndication edits of one of the most beloved sitcoms of the 1980s, without any warning on the packaging that these are, in fact, not the full-length episodes (even lying to us by stating in the original press release for the set that they were using "all original NBC network versions, including the pilot episode, which are approximately two minutes longer than the syndicated versions").

Wait, I found a picture of Cos laughing at Brad forking over his aforementioned hard-earned cash:

I don't know if I'm this fanatical over The Cosby Show (or any show other than maybe The Simpsons) but I certainly can understand the uproar over this. I'm guessing it was an error on the company's part (note: pretty big fucking error, guys), as there's no reason for deliberately misleading consumers. The company should try and correct this ASAP - anybody who reads the Amazon reviews (and I do, on every product I buy) will most likely re-think their purchase.

I cannot wait for The Muppet Show: Season One, however. Time-Life used to have the rights to The Muppet Show, and when they lost the rights, they sold their backlog of DVDs - the entire 15-volume set - for $60. DWS and I tried to jump on the bandwagon but were too late. At least these releases will have some extras.

Truth be told, I don't think I've seen any of the Season One episodes. The eps that stand out in my mind are the ones that had Mark Hamill, Christopher Reeve, and Elton John.

Supposed Elevator Hack

Saw this link on Kottke, where supposedly, if you press "Door Close" and your floor at the same time, it'll bypass all other floors.

I'm tempted to think this is bullshit. I gave it a few tries in my elevator. On two trips, there was a floor already pressed when I got on. So I pressed my floor and "Door Close," and after those previously pushed floors, I did get an express trip. But then, from the 8th floor, I pressed "L" and "Door Close," and the fucker stopped on 7.

Give it a try in your elevator and let me know if you have any luck.

Amazon Thinks I'm A '70s Wuss

(sigh)

Polaroid this...

Polaroid this muthaeffa!!!

The original link I think got a cease and desist because there's nary a trace of it left anywhere, it's all been deleted save this one.