Friday, July 29, 2005

Stuff On My Cat

Stuff On My Cat is an interesting site since it well, shows pictures of people who put stuff on their cats. This ranges from breakfast plates to flip flops, stickers to underwear.

The site is supposedly updated daily and I just cannot fathom the silent rumblings coming from some of the cats to the just plain non-chalant attitude of "why is this plunger on my head?" I mean would you really want to kiss your kitty on the head knowing full well where that plunger has been?

Thursday, July 28, 2005

R. Revisited

Okay, I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who is absolutely enthralled (and not in the way R. Kelly would probably want me to be) with "Trapped In The Closet." Stereogum posts about it here. He even includes a link (PC only) for all five chapters. Check it out!

If you missed my original critique....hyah.

Se7en: Performed by Stuffed Animals

The emotional final scene from Seven as performed by Stuffed Animals

Where do people have this kind of time...

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Well, my second concert...

I'm still trying to figure out the date of the Air Supply concert I went to at Westbury Music Fair North Fork Theatre back in 1985. No luck yet. But after Brian's post about Weird Al, I went futzing around Al's website and came upon what I'm pretty sure was my second concert:

Weird Al: Opening For The Monkees

8/19/87, Jones Beach Ampitheatre Tommy Hilfiger Ampitheatre at Jones Beach, Wantagh NY

Oh yeah, baby! I remember him performing "Living With A Hernia," and I remember Davy Jones making a million costume changes (of course I do.), but not much else. My cousin Steve took me to that show. Poor Steve - a big fan of U2 and the Police, and most likely forced by either my mother or his to take me to see The Monkees. And Weird Al.

He's a Putt-Putt Wizard

Z, remember the time I kicked your ass in mini-golf?

Plagiarist Music Picks

First off, Scott at Stereogum has Dave Brubeck's "Blue Rondo A La Turk" available as a free download, for a limited time. Grab it, grab it, grab it, it's a jazz masterpiece. Whips me into a frenzy. (I'm so dorky.)

I finally purchased Illinois by Sufjan Stevens, and Rabbit Songs by Hem. Can't comment on the latter yet as it just arrived last night. Illinois is a masterfully created pop album. Thoughtful, inventive and lush in its vocals and instrumentation, it's a beautiful listen all the way through. But I emphasize all the way through. It's one of those albums that you need to hear from start to finish. Doesn't work as well for me when the iPod is shuffling. Purchase it on iTunes. And again, you can download two tracks, for a limited time, at Borrowed Tunes.

The original cover for Illinois before D.C. Comics got all litigious on his ass

I was psyched to see a comment on my previous blog post from C.C. Chapman, host of the Accident Hash podcast. I've been listening to Accident Hash as often as I can - makes great accompaniment for my workout - my only problem is that he's producing podcasts way faster than I can listen to all of them. So I've only gotten through two or three, but so far I can point you towards two great tracks: "Summertime" by Brother Love, and "sound scientist" by Bill.

"Summertime" is...well, I can't describe it except that it fits its namesake perfectly. "sound scientist" sounds like what might happen if you mixed a bit of Jason Mraz with some Jamie Cullum and Jamiroquai.

Both of these songs (as well as many others) can be found at C.C.'s new project, the Podsafe Music Network, which is essentially a place for artists to upload their songs and for podcasters to find songs to play. By having their songs on the website, the artists grant all rights for their songs to be broadcast, and the podcasters know they don't have to get permission first before playing the songs. A great idea and another brilliant way to promote unsigned artists.

Listen to Bill at the Podsafe Music Network here, and Brother Love here.

A few months ago, I was watching an episode of "Scrubs" from my bedroom. The song played during the last five minutes moved me enough to get my lazy ass out of bed and find it on the internet. I had a crappy copy (recorded from a stream) until yesterday, when it was released on iTunes. It's called "Closer" and it's by an artist named Joshua Radin. You can stream it on his website, and you can buy it at iTunes here. This song breaks my heart.

Nickel Creek also released a 4-song live iTunes exclusive, promoting their new album Why Should The Fire Die? The impetus to pick it up was due to the live version of "Smoothie Song," but the rest of the tracks are good too. "Jealous of the Moon" was written with Gary Louris of The Jayhawks.

I've been trying to find more pics of Nickel Creek back when they were just lil' tykes. They were so dopey and cute.

Nickel Creek now:

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Nickel Creek then:

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Look at Sara! SO CUTE! This was the last time that Sean Watkins (right) was ever taller than Chris Thile.

Please take off your shoes before entering the house.

I just cannot fathom this whole thing. Jay do you remember when you'd walk down turd alley to get to Library 55? But really... please remove your shoes before coming into the apartment.... :shivers:

Kips Bay is Quite Shitty, Indeed

Jeez, you mention public poopage once on the Interweb and suddenly the, erm, floodgates open. Well, if Curbed is just going to devolve into a collection of poop joke and hookers' tales, then let this be another chapter. Many of you are adamant that a little sloppy deucing isn't a true mark of neighborhood grittiness. In fact, it appears to be the norm. A reader writes:

I hold no beef for Hell's Kitchen, but the fact that you can catch a bum taking a dumpkin on the street does not make the nabe uniquely gritty. Until recently I lived in Kips Bay. When I first moved into the area, I cursed the dog-owners who were leaving their precious pets' turds, some enormous, all over the sidewalk. Then my work schedule changed and I had to start leaving the apartment at around 5am each day. I quickly discovered the horrible truth: those turds were too big to come from dogs. Quite often I spotted members of the local homeless population squatting pants-around-ankles and fertilizing the concrete. I keep trying to tell my later-rising friends that the crap they see on the streets is not dog crap, but perhaps the truth is just too disturbing, since they never believe me.
And now, a joke: What's mushy, brown, sticks to your shoe and smells awful? Manhattan, apparently.
· What's Cooking in Hell's Kitchen? [Curbed]

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

"Geeksta" Ra....god I can't even TYPE that

Few things in recent memory have made me sadder than this article (Blatantly plagiarized from the Sport's Guy's intern before Z says anything. We all know Jason is allergic to I wanted to make sure he saw it.)

No wait, nothing makes me sadder than THIS link, because I understand what he's talking about. Just kill me. Shoot me in the back of the head.

I'm too scared to actually download the numerous mp3s that are available on these people's websites. I nominate Z to do it.

Back...To The Future!

Check out Kottke's page today. I have no idea why he's regressed to 1994 but at least it's amusing.

Weird Al intervies The Real Slim Shady

Weird Al interviews Eminem on AlTV

some funny items on there.. a good mash up style interview.

I did wanted to be like Krischelle... so I changed my display name :)

Monday, July 25, 2005

Family Guy - "Take On Me"

Totally awesome.

Props to Waxy for hosting.

Mother Stories

Come on now...who can't relate to this in one way or another?

Types of Stories My Mother Tells

Tracking Billy Joel

This website is interesting, quite well-designed (even if the spelling is a little off)...and definitely a little creepy.

Where Is Billy Joel

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Ross Halfin Interview

Ross Halfin is one of music's most amazing photographers. He's amazing at capturing artists both in preconcieved poses and in spur-of-the-moment concert shots. This interview is notable for its insults, aimed at Plant, Axl, Lars and others.

Check out Ross Halfin's amazing photos at his website. Of course, I especially like his shots of The Who. :) Check out his diary too - it's just as brutally honest as you'd expect.

One of my favorite Halfin Who shots:

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Plagiarist Links

Optimus Keyboard - isn't this cool?

Want to see an animation cel of Mr. Burns nekkid? And if so, why?

List of films ordered by uses of the word "fuck" Bless you, Wiki.

Twelve Sequels To Dances With Wolves That, Due To Monetary Constraints, Were Never Produced

When you're the president of Pixar, you probably want to show off your work.

From Big Daddy Rinke comes a link to some wicked skateboarding jumps over the Great Wall of China. Check out the video clips at the bottom. Amazing air, and even better crashes.

Using Google Maps to get out of a traffic ticket.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Fear no Weezer, or, the triumphant return of Steve Grimmett

Stereogum has a link (streaming wmv) to Weezer's Europe only video for their song "We are all on drugs"

In a cunning bit of snark (or is it a loving tribute?) they took a Grim Reaper video from 1985, for a song called Fear No Evil and played their song over top of it.

A few things about this:

1. No one made funnier videos than Grim Reaper, NO ONE. Not even Dio. Grim Reaper are the Muhammad Ali of unintentionally funny heavy metal videos from the 80s. Post apocalyptic wastelands, stupid werewolf masks, "monster faces", ill advised tight fitting leather daddy vests, amphibious vehicles, its all here, baby.

2. I am sad they didn't use the video for a different Grim Reaper song called See You In Hell, in this one they got a guy to dress up as the Grim Reaper and stroll around purposefully in the background brandishing his scythe. In See You in Hell the Grim Reaper is 12 feet tall and made of paper mache. Plus Steve Grimmett wears an even more comically tight fitting fire engine red leather outfit.

3. Ah Steve Grimmett...Grim Reaper's charismatic leader. You can tell from the videos that he wants very badly to be a macho, intimidating metal god. Unfortunately for Steve he looks to be about 5'4" and looks eerily like a cross between Ozzy and Eric Wenger (ask Jay, non-PW'ers). If you take the kid who got thrown into the lockers in gym class, and put tight fitting leather on him and surround him with werewolves and death's's still the kid who got thrown into the lockers, I'm just sayin...

I am working tonight, and therefore unable to provide a detailed scene by scene snarking of this video. I'd like to ask Jason if he sees fit, to do one for me, in the vein of his brilliant undressing of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet (vol. 1, ch.1, part 1). If he refuses, I'll eventually put one up in the comments to the post. In the meantime, enjoy the brilliance that is Grim Reaper!

Horse-Screwing Fallout

So yesterday I blogged about the guy who died after having sex with a horse. Here's an article about the reporter from the Seattle Times who did some follow-up on the story.

When a Man Dies in a Sex Act With a Horse - What's a Reporter to Do?
(worst headline EVER) (SFW, probably blocked at Z's work)
Sullivan also spoke with two neighbors -- a husband and wife -- near the farm who had no idea that this kind of activity had been going on. A few days ago, they were shown a tape of men having sex with horses -- one of which belonged to them.
Can you imagine? You're watching this disgusting tape, and all of a sudden: "Holy shit! That's our horse! Oh, Bucky, NO! Don't let him do that to you! Run away! Gallop for freedom!"

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Apple and a Video iPod

You may have read recent news reports of Apple talking to major record labels about selling music videos through iTunes, which could mean that a video iPod is on the way as well. Still, tons of interviews with Steve, some quite recently, reiterate the belief that the iPod is a device too small (and therefore inconvenient) for video viewing.

Personally, I have no need for purchasing music videos (unless...), but I can see it being appealing to the younger demographic. And I wouldn't mind being able to transport short video clips in the same manner as the current iPod photo. My hopes is that the Fall brings, at the very least, an 80 GB. I don't care if it's black-and-white (it won't be) or is the Special Coldplay Edition(although what I'd really like...). It just needs to have more space.

My number one request for the iPod, though, is radio capability - either general AM/FM, or through XM or Sirius.

Why you gotta hate on sheep?

Seattle man dies after sex with horse (, SFW)

Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.

Monday, July 18, 2005

The Farting Preacher

Now sophomoric humor is the the basic lowest common denominator that crosses all demographics. I cannot believe that someone took the time to screen the footage, edit it down to something so sophmoric that it just works on so many levels.

Robert Tilton brought down by a TV news magazine expose in the early 90s lives on as the Farting Preacher. Pastor Gas as he's become known on the internet as well as being the Farting Preacher, isn't something to take lightly. If you'd like to d/l them for posterity you can find them at: Robert Tilton Fart Video,

Be warned, do not consume food or beverages as you watch this because you more than likely will snarf it.

Farting Preacher I

Farting Preacher II: Electric Boogaloo

Farting Preacher 3-D

Farting Preacher Episode IV: A New Hope

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You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

-- James Joyce, in a private letter addressed to
"my sweet little whorish Nora"

Man Ruins Christmas

A few of us talked about doing this...but I would never have done it for reals.


Man Ruins Ending Of Harry Potter in Drive-By

Plagiarist Free Music Picks

There are a number of music/mp3 blogs that I check out. You already know I really dig Stereogum. I also like Coolfer for insightful discussion on all topics of music, from concert and album reviews to industry commentary. I also download mp3s from a number of mp3 blogs, such as Fingertips, Borrowed Tunes, and Said The Gramophone (I like their descriptions more than the songs, actually). Lately, I've also been taking advantage of iTunes' new Podcast feature to download podcasts from Accident Hash.

There are so many free and legal mp3s out there; the sources I've listed above are the tip of the iceberg. I really don't give many a chance to grow on me; I download, I play, and if I'm not grabbed by something within the first 90 seconds, it goes in the trash. Occasionally I'll recognize that one has a particular quality that I'd like to revisit at some point, but not often. Maybe it's unfair, but I just don't have enough time or energy to give them repeated listens. If the selected song grabs me, then I'll give others from the same album a chance to grow. But it has to hit me from the start.

That being said, here are just a few of the better mp3s I've downloaded over the past few weeks/months. Grab 'em now if you're interested, as the links could go at any moment.

"Call It Clear" - Halloween, Alaska from Fingertips, July 3- July 9
"Mumble Mumble" - Get Him Eat Him from Fingertips, July 10 - July 16
"Space They Cannot Touch" - Kate Miller-Heidke from Fingertips, July 10 - July 16
"Attagirl" - Bettie Serveert from Fingertips, January 23-29
"Walter Reed" - Michael Penn from Fingertips, April 24-30
Sufjan Stevens - "The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts" from Stereogum
Sufjan Stevens - "Casimir Pulaski Day" from Borrowed Tunes

Be sure to read the Sufjan Stevens review from Borrowed Tunes, linked just above. This will probably be my next purchase, along with Rabbit Songs. (I keep watching with amusement as Amazon changes the price of Rabbit Songs from $13.99 to $14.99 to $15.98 on a daily basis, with very little rhyme or reason.)

7 Words You Can't Say In Kindergarten

.mov file: 7 Words You Can't Say In Kindergarten (foul language)

I completely understand his point (and I think it's a point well-taken), but I can't say I wasn't taken aback by the video itself. Just not used to seeing something like that. Am I a puritan? They're just words, but...

What do you think?

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Old Grandma Hardcore

No it's not what you think, you guys and your Roly Poly Gangbang 2: Electric Boogaloo Rides the Wave.

It's Grandma the hardcore gamer. Z, I'm sure she'll pwn you and your buddies... look at her skillz...

First Post
My friends encouraged me to start this blog to share my grandma with the world. Anyone who lives near us hearing her scream "Fucking Cocksucker Won't FUCKING DIE!!" at the television at very late hours knows she's something special. I'm her 22 year old grandson and I wouldn't trade her for the world- for many reasons; but one stands out.

Video 1
Video 2
Video 3


Happy birthday, bro. I know you're reading this. :)

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Just a warning on those sunglasses: you're about two steps away from becoming this guy.

Shitty Tipper Database

In following the tradition of the Waiter rant I found something more sinister.

I believe most of us here in NYC are conditioned to pay a 20% tip when we go out to dinner. Drinks I'm not sure it's 20% it's more when you pay $3 for a beer and you give another $1 (33%?)

Anyways, cruising through the net, I found the Shttiy Tipper Database, which by their definition is anything under 17%. They name names! (I did search for my own name, Jason's, McSnarky's... Z I don't know yours...)

Friday, July 15, 2005


Happy birthday, playa.

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StreetWars: Killer NYC

Think you've got what it takes?

StreetWars: Team Killer – The Killing Begins August 1st

A round-robin, all city, 24/7 water-gun assassination tournament
Sign Up Deadline EXTENDED to Thursday July 25th

What is StreetWars:Killer?

StreetWars:Killer is an assasination tournament. Find out more about the Shadow Government activities in this CTV video, and this CBC Radio One interview

At the start of the game you will receive a manila envelope containing the following:

  • A picture of your intended target(s)
  • The home address of your intended target(s)
  • The work address of your intended target(s)
  • The name of your intended target(s)
  • Contact information of your intended target(s)

Upon receipt of these items, your (or your team's) mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).

You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.

If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your (or your team's) picture(s) and name(s). Then you win. Cash…but first live in fear.

To find out more... read stories posted by players in our current New York City Game
I have not played the game of Assassin/Killer in forever. Last time I played it was in high school and we played all over the San Fernando Valley. It was a $10 buy in winner take all usually there were about 15-20 of us. Rules vary from place to place. Some allow for one or two witnesses, others say no witnesses. Some allow for the use of co-conspiritors, poisons, bombs, poison gas, deadly handshakes, kisses of death, and whatever else the imagination can create for playing an imaginary game of assasination.

I never bothered to look up the game rules on the internet but low and behold the game is still being played mostly by college students.

It looks like this would be a fun way to spend August, but quite honestly I don't know where I'll find the time if my hit is located in Staten Island or Bayside Queens especially since the rule is one assassination attempt every week.

-update: damn someone reminded me that this was originally a Steve Jackson Game one of the first LARPs (live action role play.) Damn I feel old.

from the SJ website:

Watch Your Back!
You might be::
Bitten by rubber snakes!
with peanuts!
Electrocuted by ropes!
Bombed with pillows!
Shot with
a banana!
Hosed & sprinkled, squirted and boffed . . . even ping-ponged!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Plagiarist Links

Well, this is why the blog is called what it's called. Here are some interesting links, found either on other blogs or through e-mail.

Waiter Rant - Check Please You don't read Waiter Rant? Shame on you.

Kids aren't going outside anymore.

From the "no shit" file: Ads before movies annoy people. I wonder how many people were pissed off when my commercial ran at the movies last year.

Actors learning to pretend to play piano. All this article did was remind me that I play with my wrists curled. Dammit.

Ever wanted to hear Teller speak? It's not that exciting, although I once talked with him for about an hour and was so impressed at how damn intelligent he is.

Great image: Love Your Job

Cool website that "Polaroid-izes" your photos. (down as of 7/14/05)

Google Maps/Subway Map Mash-up
- Very helpful for figuring out which subway is really closest to a specific area. And it works best in Firefox too.

Interview with Pete Fornatale
- Pete is one of the true "Last DJs" (and also a PW resident.) Funny - I just realized that the title of the article actually is "The Last DJ." Damn I'm good.

Oh, Cooter

With all the hype surrounding the new Dukes of Hazzard movie (okay, I'm mainly talking about Jessica Simpson's ass), I've always had one question circling around in my brain.

What does Cooter think of all this?

Well, thankfully, Cooter has weighed in.
"Basically, they trashed our show," said Jones, who read a script of the Warner Brothers movie, which is scheduled to be released next month. "It's one thing to do whatever movie they want to do, but to take a classic family show and do that is like taking 'I Love Lucy' and making her a crackhead or something."
Cooter, Cooter, Cooter....truer words were never spoken. And a brilliant comparison of your show to the one that that crackhead Lucille Ball created. I made that connection a long time ago.

Cooter: You. Are. A. Delight.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Mullets, North Fork and Ugly Faces

Tonight, I am taking my mom to see Richard Marx as an early birthday present. I am pretty sure this concert is going to rock, and I'm not even being sarcastic. Despite Mr. Marx being an aritst of the '80s, known better for his gigantor mullet than anything else, he is actually still a viable artist. He's written/produced about a zillion songs (I counted) for other artists, most recently winning a Grammy for co-writing "Dance With My Father" with the late Luther Vandross. Mom and I went to see him last year at a WPLJ "listeners only" concert (I won a contest) and she even got to meet him beforehand (she won a contest). His new material is pretty similar to his old material - strong rock/pop stuff - and I was surprised how much I enjoyed his performance. So I'm looking forward to it.

Tonight's concert is at the North Fork Theatre at Westbury, which will always be known to me as Westbury Music Fair. Westbury Music Fair is where I saw my very first concert, in 1985. Air Supply, baby! (If anybody can somehow use the powers of the Internet to find the exact date, I'll give you a candy bar.) I went with my mom and my babysitter. At one point, lead singer Russell Hitchcock left the revolving stage and walked into the audience to shake hands with various concertgoers. I extended my hand towards him. He shook the hand of the chick in front of me and walked back to the stage. I was a grumpus the rest of the night, but I knew then that very few musical experiences would ever compare with seeing a live concert. After that came The Monkees, Hall & Oates and a host of other embarrassments. But enough about that. (Really. You don't want to know the acts I've seen.)

So I was looking over the website for Westbury Music Fair North Fork Theatre to see what time Richard was going to start a-rocking. Naturally, I came across their entire schedule. You have to check this out for yourself. There are a million comments to be made, but I'll just note a few.

First off, note how many words are in the name of each act. More words means that you really shouldn't be spending your money to go see them.

Judy Collins and Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul & Mary with Bethany Yarrow and Kenny White

Bethany is...his wife? Sister? Dalmatian?

The Doobie Brothers

If Michael ain't there, neither am I.

An Evening with LYLE LOVETT and his LARGE BAND

I've only heard a few of his songs, but I bet this would be a pretty good show. Same with Chris Isaak.

Don Rickles, The Smothers Brothers

Did I ever tell you about the time I met Don Rickles? He was walking with a handler after shooting something on the street outside Letterman's theater, and I was so surprised to see him that I just shouted, "Don Rickles!" He stopped in his tracks, gave me the stinkeye, and continued moving. Good times.

Davy Jones , Chuck Negron , Gary Puckett , The Ides of March featuring Jim Peterik

Davy Jones is, of course, a Monkee without a career. (I hear he's an absolute bitch on tour.) Chuck Negron is "the voice of Three Dog Night," and I only know this because he travels in a van that says, on the side, "CHUCK NEGRON: THE VOICE OF THREE DOG NIGHT." I believe there's a booking number on the van too. Poor Gary Puckett (without The Union Gap to boot!), and I have no idea who that last act is.

ROCK NEVER STOPS: Cinderella , Ratt , Quiet Riot , Firehouse

Z, it's a shame I already bought your birthday present.

George Thorogood & The Destroyers

Z, it's a shame I already bought your birthday present.

Huey Lewis & the News

Z, it's a shame I already bought your birthday present. I actually almost bought you tickets last year. I think they were playing the Bowery Ballroom - a much cooler venue than Westbury Music Fair North Fork Theatre.

Hootie & the Blowfish

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. From Madison Square Garden to Westbury in just a few short years. Poor Hootie and the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch.

Okay, one more listing and I'm done. I just love the way this one is laid out:

9/24/05 Pat Cooper, Joni James: We Remember Yesterday! Cancelled

If you have any comments about some of the great acts playing at Westbury Music FairNorth Fork Theatre, or memories of any acts you might have seen there (what? It's just me?), post 'em in the comments.

Final note for today, and unrelated to Westbury Music FairNorth Fork Theatre: John Mayer has put together a trio, called (amazingly enough) The John Mayer Trio. Note the following from their bio:

This new venture is a testament to the tremendous respect Mayer has for his fans, as he continues to provide them with new musical permutations in the knowledge that they’ll willingly go wherever he chooses to take them. These fans understand that Mayer is a restless spirit with an ongoing need to test the limits; indeed, that restlessness is the essence of his appeal - it defines who he is and the path he’s traveling.
Translation: Attention screaming girls! This is John Mayer's record company speaking! We do not - repeat - DO NOT - endorse John Mayer doing any project that involves any musical creativity, and especially do not endorse a project like this that includes two ugly guys and definitely precludes any chance of a video on MTV. However, we need to kiss your ass in order to get you to stay with John until we effectively force him (perhaps even physically) to return to his previous cute-boy persona. Please, please, PLEASE follow our 'restless spirit.' Thank you. In the meantime, may we interest you in some Jason Mraz, who finally took off his fucking hat, after we threatened to drop him from the label and force him to play Westbury Music Fair North Fork Theatre?

I actually really like John Mayer. I think he's one of the more intelligent musicians out there today, and I have a lot of respect for his career choices. And he also makes some really ugly guitar faces.
Endnote: Air Supply are playing Westbury Music Fair North Fork Theatre in August. I thought about getting Mom tickets, but I'll be out of town and I don't think she'll be able to find anybody else as lame as me to accompany her. To be honest, I don't think even she'd want to go.

Endnote #2: I just found this link for Hair Supply. My god, these guys are awesome!! Download their cover of "Lost In Love" here. Do it now. Seriously.

mullet no more
Richard Marx 9/8/04, China Club, NYC, taken by yours truly


Monobrows, we disdain them? Or do we secretly love them? Or do we secretly love to mock them?

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Occasionally folks send in photos of people who are blessed with the singular growth phenomenon and say, "Hey, bros. Here's a hilarious photo of a Monodork. Make fun of him, bro. What a moron.." But these people are missing the point.
First of all, this site is a celebration of our exalted mono-kin, not a stage unto which we ridicule them. With that said, here is a photo of an exceptional mono-riffic specimen. We were told his name was Hansel Wadsworth, but we prefer to call him Juan.

What I did love was that I was able to find again the classic of classics, DJSuperGreg, man can he really scratch up a storm.

* I had to now see if was still active but it's not, thank goodness for mirrors because someone mirrored it.

Super Greg (mirror site of the original

"The Aristocrats" Banned from AMC Theaters

It was already on my must-see list, but now it just went up a notch.

CNN: AMC Chain Vetoes "Dirtiest Joke Ever"

I will admit that the one clip I saw from the movie (Google search "aristocrats" and "cartman" to see Trey Parker's take on the joke) made my stomach jump, it was so disgusting. And I heard that's only the beginning. Apparently Bob Saget has some raunchy stuff to say. I'm actually nervous to see it, but I'm definitely going. Probably with the people reading this blog.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Tidbits from TidBITS

TidBITS is a nifty, weekly web/e-mail newsletter that I always look forward to receiving. 90% of their coverage is of Mac-related news and reviews, which is fantastic (even though I'll never really get into half of the things they cover), and the other 10% is always equally as interesting. If you're a Mac person, I suggest checking it out.

Anyway, in this week's issue, they cover two interesting products:

This device supposedly tracks your five sleeping cycles throughout the night, and based on those cycles, figures out when to wake you up (within a certain personally pre-set window). The author of the above-linked article says that it works for him. I dunno - for $150, I'm not so sure I'd be willing to take the chance. Plus, I wake up better to the radio than I do to beeping, and I almost always sleep with my arms/hands underneath my pillow, thus lessening my chance of actually hearing it anyway. Now, if it delivered a small electric shock, then maybeI would buy it for Jess. Product info here.


I think I would seriously be tempted to buy a Roomba! (exclamation point mine - I think it just makes for a better product name, plus conjures images of someone like Zsa Zsa saying it aloud with a little hand/arm flourish) if I didn't already have a pretty good vacuum. I don't like the idea of having to clean it any more than I currently clean my vacuum, which is approximately never. But what I really like is the idea of it terrorizing my cats. Big Daddy Rinke, I believe you have some experience with Roomba! and a freaked-out dog, right?

What makes this specific article on Roomba! all the better, though, is a link to a video of (of course) Roomba! terrorizing a dog. And what makes that video even better is the fact that the soundtrack is (of course) the Benny Hill theme song.

More info on Roomba! here.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Conan Article

Article on Conan O'Brien and his work ethic

I don't get to watch Conan as often as I'd like anymore, because (as Snarky McSnarkalot would put it), I go to bed way earlier these days. But it's still one of the only shows on TV that gets consistent LOL moments out of me. (Scrubs, The Daily Show and, of course, R. Kelly are the others.) I still remember his very first episode - like everybody else, I sat there and wondered, "Who the hell is this guy?"

Z brought it to my attention that the absolutely retarded requires a login and password to view the article. When this happens, I usually go to BugMeNot and get a login and password. To save you the step, here's the article:

Heirs aberrant

The two funnymen who would be kings of the nightConan O’Brien may seem easygoing, but he’s driven to succeed Leno

After reporting on Conan O’Brien for more than a decade, I figured I knew all there really was to know about the next host of “The Tonight Show.” But that was before I heard about the air conditioner.

Turns out, America’s most likable late-night host has a temper to match his 6-foot-4 frame. It flares up during rehearsals and tapings of his “Late Night” show, conducted most weekday afternoons inside NBC’s Studio 6A in New York.

“I hate being part of something that’s unfunny,” he said recently. “I’d rather get shot in the leg — I mean where there’s bone, not just a flesh wound, with a high-caliber bullet — than do a show that was disappointing.”

And so it was, after one sketch some years back went terribly wrong, the host stormed out of 6A and into a production closet with a low drop ceiling. He punched through the ceiling with both arms, felt something, grabbed hold and pulled down ...

“... this coolant system, which is about the size of that table,” O’Brien said, “pulled it down through the ceiling — there are wires sparking — went over, picked up a phone and called a page. She came in and just stared at it. I said, ‘Could you do something with that?’ ”

Telling the story now, as he did during a talk this spring in New York City, O’Brien is hilariously self-effacing. But it’s easy to forget that late-night hosts are comedians, and comedians with few exceptions are angry people.

Johnny Carson’s wrath was fearsome, by all accounts, while David Letterman’s behavior so alienated the higher-ups in Burbank that he lost “The Tonight Show” to Mr. Nice Guy, Jay Leno.

The ceiling-punching incident also says something about O’Brien’s passion for television. Behind that laidback, self-mocking, “can you believe I’m on TV” persona, behind that goofy shock of red hair that he refers to as a “French dessert,” is a veteran of 2,100 hours of late-night TV who has not faced serious competition in 10 years. Indeed, he is pulling in more young viewers (ages 18-34) than David Letterman is on CBS, and Letterman’s show is on one hour earlier.

O’Brien’s work ethic, though invisible to viewers and guests, has established him as the host whose interviews, daring comedy and cutting-edge musical acts are worth staying up for. And they will make him a worthy heir to late night’s biggest prize when he takes over “The Tonight Show” in 2009 in an orderly succession that NBC brokered with Leno last October.

When he went to sign the deal giving him the “Tonight” job, O’Brien realized he was sitting in the corporate office where, at his career low point in 1994, he was forced to waive his old contract, with its one-year renewal clause, and sign a new one giving NBC the right to review his employment on “Late Night” every 13 weeks. It was that or be fired on the spot.

Now, “The Tonight Show” is his. After the signing last fall, he took a phone call. Carson was on the line. For 10 blessed minutes, O’Brien got to talk shop with the king. He listened as Johnny told him about the show that was once named for him. Three months later Carson would be dead.

“I still can’t really believe that he talked to me,” O’Brien said at a forum sponsored by the Television Academy. “If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, they can’t take that away from me.”

NBC hasn’t said whether O’Brien will move west to Burbank, where “Tonight” is now taped, or “Tonight” will head east, back to where it originated 51 years ago under Steve Allen. For his part, the host-elect swears he hasn’t thought about what he’ll do differently once he steps onto that larger stage, wherever it is. He calls it “an abstraction” and says it’s a potential distraction as well.

“It’s this miraculous thing that I think about every once in a while, like when I’m walking the dog,” O’Brien said in a recent phone interview. “The thing that got me there was this show, and the easiest way to screw this up is to take my eye off the ball.”

Recalling the day in May 1993 when NBC told the world that he, an obscure writer for “Saturday Night Live” and “The Simpsons,” would be replacing Letterman on “Late Night,” O’Brien said, “I know this sounds corny, but I felt a responsibility to continue what Dave had started. This show is an experimental place for comedy, and that’s become rarer and rarer on network television.

“I want to keep that going. I don’t want to phone in the last couple of years of ‘Late Night.’ We’ll think about this other thing as we get closer.”

One detail seems certain: The executive producer in charge of “The Tonight Show With Conan” will be Jeff Ross, who has been running “Late Night” since the beginning.

Ross is the perfect counterpart to O’Brien. Nothing fazes him. Or as O’Brien put it, “I have the hummingbird metabolism and he has the Galapagos turtle metabolism.” When things are going well, a reporter might be able to coax a response out of Ross like, “Yeah, it was good,” which when spoken by him sounds more like, “yyyasgood.”

And when things go bad, Ross shrugs. “We’re in the volume business,” he said recently. “We can’t craft this thing perfectly.”

Some of “Late Night’s” best-loved routines go back to O’Brien’s first weeks on television.

Even now, when the show wants to put its own perverse spin on the day’s news, it calls on Robert Smigel, its former head writer, for a gag known internally as “Clutch Cargo.” Named for the ultra-low-budget kids’ show of the 1960s, it’s the one where O’Brien pretends to interview a newsmaker via satellite, when it’s really just a picture of, say, Michael Jackson with Smigel’s lips superimposed over the mouth. Smigel’s impressions are as comically bad as ever, yet the shtick never seems to grow old.

I spoke to the host the night after the show with the satirical helicopter video of the Jackson motorcade. O’Brien’s people had re-created it on the tile floor outside his studio with toy cars pulled by a string. (Tito Jackson’s car was seen exiting at the “Never Work Ranch.”)

“I was proud of the Michael Jackson helicopter shots,” O’Brien said. “And Larry King.” The CNN host was in New York and had agreed to come on the show to help with a long-running bit, “In the Year 2000,” in which O’Brien and a guest wear goofy space-age collars and read prognostications in the dark, their faces illuminated by flashlights.

There remains a low-budget, low-expectations feel to “Late Night” and probably always will. But the host, who now makes several million dollars a year, is the first to admit that times have changed.

“When I started in ’93 I was such an outsider, as far outside the business as anyone on television can be,” O’Brien said. “And what we’ve done is sort of grow our own Rat Pack. On our 10th anniversary show we had Will Ferrell and Gwyneth Paltrow and Jack Black and Ben Stiller,” who were minor celebrities then, too.

NBC has digitized all 2,000-plus hours of “Late Night” and put it on a corporate server. “My assistant, Patrick, has one of those giant computer screens, and I’ll walk by and he’ll be chuckling,” he said. “Patrick’s 22. He’ll be watching my time-travel show, where I’m in a toga, interviewing Martin Scorsese. I don’t even remember when that was.”

Neither do many of his current viewers.

“Last night there were these 16-year-old girls in the audience with homemade T-shirts,” O’Brien said. “They’ve only been fans of the show for two years. They don’t even remember that Andy Richter was my sidekick. It’s inconceivable.”

Those are the viewers who will make him late night’s biggest star in the coming years. But he has to keep them tuning in, and that’s what keeps complacency at bay.

“I’ve seen so many comedians shoot past me on the ladder in the past 12 years and become a big deal. Then their 10 minutes are up. But I’ve always said I hope my biggest night in show business is our last one.”

Borat In Town

Gothamist has the story!

Oh, I love Borat. Check out the Borat Soundboard.

Friday, July 08, 2005

More Live8

I'm on a ghetto computer where I can't post hyperlinks for some reason, so I'll clean this up later. Edited to please Brian. Just don't want to forget about this link.

Individual links to each Live8 song performed

Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius' latest contraption

Someone today contacted me today to tell me about the world's most powerful whistles made by Acme Whistles of the UK. These whistles are small compact and very loud, so loud that they are "used in FIFA Internationals, F.A. & Champions League Matches FIMBRA & FINA Matches" Well the only acronym I recognize is FIFA which is soccer.

But that's not why I'm posting this to share with everyone. I mean who in America really cares about Soccer? MLS is just gaining some traction but quite honestly even WNBA does better in my opinion.

Upon opening the Acme website, there's a small photo of Project: Acme Meteor. Dropping this baby from 10,000 feet to break the decible level of all whistles ever made.

No other thoughts came to my head, but just one single simple vision. All I could think about as I saw this was Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius trying to use this 2 man flying whistle to catch Road Runner.

It can be yours for the low price of £ 6,995.00, Safety Helmet not Included.

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

Quick Links Post

Before I leave for rehearsal/upstate travel.

Press Release: Opus, First Immersive Music Venue, to Open in New York in July

Also see the Opus Theater website.

Let me say that I'm cautiously optimistic about this concept. As somebody who has gladly paid good bucks for the opportunity to see The Kids Are Alright on a full-screen in semi surround-sound, I'd definitely pay movie-theater prices for the opportunity to see other "concerts" in a similar setting. The artist's rendering of the theater itself worries me somewhat; I'm not sure how they're going to preserve a movie-like experience while having a bar in the background, but once it opens, I'll definitely go up there and give it a shot. It's inconvenient for city-dwellers without cars, as it's in West Nyack. But I....have a car. :)

Calling Cyrano to the Film Set My gut instinct tells me that if I were a screenwriter, I'd be pissed that one of the actors brought in their own personal script doctor.

In Seat 12C, Speak Kindly and Carry a Big Candy Bar Okay, dude - we get it. You like Three Muskateers. Good for you. Shit, I forgot to tip the desk clerk at my last hotel. What's The Big Idea? Interesting first-hand account of how television talk shows manipulate their guests for the sake of good television.

Not that I've ever measured my respect/disrespect for M&M's, but the fact that their new commercial not only uses "Such Great Heights" by The Postal Service but uses the cover version by Iron & Wine is just really, really, really cool.

Strong Bad is one hot model. Strong Bad, you husky-headed boy, I'm sorry for ever leaving you. It's been too long. Won't happen again.

That's all for now.

Pete, Rock God

Last night, I watched ABC's coverage of Live8. I skipped most of it but stopped when I saw they deeemed the Who worthy enough of half a song of coverage. Sheesh. I take what I can get. So I watched them play "Who Are You."

When Pete Townshend decides the mood is right, he is simply on fire. His playing, attack and demeanor were awesome to watch. My favorite part was when he did a birdman, going into a half-windmill and an attack pose, ending with a machine gun.

I'll elaborate, using pictures from Pete's official website, taken beautifully by Matt Kent (a nice guy who started out a nutso Who fan and ended up running Pete's site - cue Napoleon going "luckyyyy").

The Birdman

The Birdman is a pose that I believe Pete first started doing as a teenager with the Who, but I didn't see many examples of it until the 2002 tour, when he did it during "Sparks" almost every night. Pete strikes a chord and lets it ring out, sometimes with a trickle of feedback mixing in with the chord, and extends his arms to each side.

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The Windmill

Ahhh, The Windmill. What to say about the windmill that hasn't already been said? The story goes that Pete again started windmilling as a teenager. The Who were on the same bill as The Rolling Stones, and Pete saw Keith warming up his arm by windmilling it around. Keith doesn't remember this, but what does that really tell you, anyway?

Pete and The Windmill have had a dangerous history. It's not uncommon for Pete to literally rip off a fingernail when doing a windmill. In 1989, shortly after the Who reunited for a 25th Anniversary Tour, Pete vowed he wouldn't be doing any of his jumps or windmills that colored his past. (This vow lasted approximately 25 seconds into the first gig of the tour.) In Tacoma, Pete did a windmill and forgot about the whammy bar hanging on the end of his Fender Strat. The bar pierced his right hand, going all the way through, between his fourth and fifth fingers. (Shot from 1989 shown here.)

Pete still windmills constantly. I tend to think that he's probably not hitting the strings as often with his right hand anymore, but is just using his left hand to play the chord while the hand swings. Still, I've seen him do anywhere from 5 to 15 in a row, and regardless of whether you're hitting the strings...try swinging your arm at that velocity and frequency and see how it feels.

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The Attack Pose

I love the Attack Pose. (I just gave it that name.) This pose usually happens either right after a windmill or a hard chord hit, and it's ferocious. This is why Pete is a guitar superstar. He can play the thing, and he uses it emotionally and physically. Poses like these punctuate those amazing power-chords in "Won't Get Fooled Again" and a zillion others.

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The Machine Gun

I've only seen Pete do this in recent years. He tends to do it when he's pissed off. Sometimes it looks a bit dopey, but when done correctly, it's also pretty powerful.

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(You'd think that machine-gunning the crowd at the Concert For New York would have been a poor choice of moves, but they went wild.)

So anyway, Pete did a combination of all these moves - within maybe 1.5 seconds - during "Who Are You" at Live8. It was this brief moment in time that most - including Pete, possibly - never noticed - but it was one of those moments that really showed how powerful Pete can be.

Poor Roger gets no love. Let's give Rog some love.

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And final pic for today, from Madison Square Garden '02. I just wanted to point out that, to the bottom left of Zak's drum kit, right above the monitor - that's me. (I swear.) That was the night Roger threw me his harmonica. Good night. Two years later, I tried to get him to sign it and he looked like he was going to punch me in the face. It remains unsigned for obvious reasons.

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Watershed Restaurant in the Times

This article obviously caught my eye because it focuses on the restaurant owned by Emily Saliers, one of the Indigo Girls. (By the way, I really like the Indigo Girls...not sure if I've ever made that clear.) I had no idea that the article was really about the relationship between the chef and his mentor. Great story. And now I want chicken.

NY Times: Chicken on the Plate, Family on the Side

This Just In: New York Sucks

The New York Times has the best split-picture of the reactions in London and New York.

(BTW, that guy's mouth is filled with gasoline. Shortly after this picture, he set Bloomberg on fire.)

Hooray for New York not getting chosen, although I did like the thought of moving back home and subletting my apartment for $4000 a month.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Moral Imperative

Brian and Dori, Rinke and Carol, Jay and Jess, your course is clear.

You must carry your spouses.

Carry them to GLORY!

Since I know Jason won't click on them, the rules:

...the following rules set by the International Wife Carrying Competition Rules Committee will apply:

* The length of the official track is 253.5 meters, and the surface of the track is partially sand, partially grass and partially gravel

* The track has two dry obstacles and a water obstacle, about one meter deep (Query: How would supporters of the "Estonian Carry" shown here, prevent their wives from drowning in one meter of water?)

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* The wife to be carried may be your own, the neighbour's or you may have found her farther afield; she must, however, be over 17 years of age (This may be the best use of the words "farther afield" in history)

* The minimum weight of the wife to be carried is 49 kilos (i.e. 108 pounds). If it is less than 49 kilos, the wife will be burdened with such a heavy rucksack that the total weight to be carried is 49 kilos. (Some Finnish lawyer wrote this, I just know it. I love these rules.)

* All the participants must have fun (Anyone not having fun, will be shot)

* If a contestant drops his wife that couple will be fined 15 seconds per drop (Water hazzards, dropped wives, the estonian carry just sounds more and more dangerous doesn't it?)

* The only equipment allowed is a belt worn by the carrier (and, judging by the picture above, some very nice green tights as well)

* The contestants run the race two at a time, so each heat is a contest in itself

* Each contestant takes care of his/her safety and, if deemed necessary, insurance (definitely a lawyer at work here)

* The contestants have to pay attention to the instructions given by the organisers of the competition

* There is only one category in the World Championships and the winner is the couple who completes the course in the shortest time (This is a shame don't you think? There should be weight classes, age brackets. The estonian carry needs its own division. Why is this not shown on ESPN2 at 3AM? This seems like it would beat the hell out the World's Strongest Man for entertainment value)

* Also the most entertaining couple, the best costume and the strongest carrier will be awarded a special prize

* Participation fee is 50 euro (currently $59.59, what a bargain!)

The only question in my mind, does Jay carry Jess or does Jess carry Jay?

More on Live8

Here's a look at increases in CD sales by Live8 artists in the UK. Note how 70% of these are Greatest Hits collections.

1 Pink Floyd - Echoes: The Best of Pink Floyd - 1343%
2 The Who - Then and Now - 863%
3 Annie Lennox - Eurythmics Greatest Hits - 500%
4 Dido - Life For Rent - 412%
5 Razorlight - Up All Night - 335%
6 Robbie Williams - Greatest Hits - 320%
7 Joss Stone - Mind, Body and Soul - 309%
8 Sting - The Very Best of Sting & The Police - 300%
9 Travis - Singles - 268%
10 Madonna - Immaculate Collection - 200%

Pete Townshend was quoted as saying "Our sales went up 832 per cent over the weekend - that's because we sold one record on Saturday and 832 since."

Now, I'm no mathematician, but...

The Times Online reports how EMI won the bidding war for the DVD release, partially by paying a large upfront to cover the costs of the concerts.

A friend of mine speculated that the organizers of Live Aid are still kicking themselves for broadcasting the whole concert, with very little interruption, because people had less reason to buy a video/DVD copy of it - they had already seen the whole thing. Perhaps this is a factor in all the interruptions?

Just found an excellent article in The Buffalo News that echoes the above-thought, and sums up Live8 better than any other article I've read so far.

Always Take The Fish.

The MTV/VH-1 Live8 coverage was extremely disappointing, to say the least. Thankfully, AOL has almost all of the performances archived. Yes, Mike, this means you can finally watch Tom Cochrane play "Life Is A Highway" right here.

Of course, I couldn't get the clips to load on my Mac and don't have sufficient rights to install the AOL media player here at work, so I'm stuck watching clips of Ricky Gervais.

Friday, July 01, 2005

The Continuing Story Of R. Kelly Trapped In The Closet

I saw the most fascinating thing this morning. It actually delayed my morning routine.

I watched a few videos on VH-1 before leaving for work. I don't usually watch music videos, but "Hollaback Girl" was on, and I can watch that video for hours on end, even though I have no clue what's going on or even being said. Gwen Stefani is insanely hot in this video. But I digress. Back to me watching VH-1. After "Hollaback Girl" came a new video by R. Kelly.

The video started out like, I imagine, many R. Kelly videos - he's in a chick's bed. (Granted, I have not seen many videos by R. Kelly, and the ones I have seen, I can't discuss - but they do have a similar opening sequence.) But then the lyrics begin, and a drama unfolds.

7 o'clock in the morning and the rays from the sun wake me
I'm stretching and yawning in a bed that don’t belong to me
Then a voice yells “good morning darling” from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me and to my surprise she isn’t you

Something tells me this has happened to R. before. But I'm intrigued. Continue, R.

Here I am quickly trying to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys trying to get on up out the door
Then she stretched her hands in front of me
Said “you can’t go this way”
Looked at her like she was crazy
Said “woman move out my way”
I Said “I got a wife at home”
She said “please don’t go out there”
“Lady I’ve got to get home”
She said her husband was coming from the stairs

Okay. At this point, I'm hooked. Clearly, some shit is gonna go down.

“Shh, shh quiet, hurry up and get in the closet”
She said “don’t you make a sound or some shit is going down.”

I told you!!!!

Okay. Have I piqued your interest? If not, I don't care. At this point, I was glued to the television. There was no way I was going to move.

Stop what you're doing right now and watch the video for "Trapped In The Closet (Ch. 1)". Then come back and read the rest of this. It won't make sense otherwise. You can watch in Windows Media or QuickTime (click on the link on his website).

So I watch the rest of the video. I am fascinated, for a myriad of reasons, none worth sharing, but I will anyway.

1) Could this song/video combination get any more literal? Every single word describes exactly what is going on. No vague imagery here. When he sings "Shh, shh, quiet," she's literally saying the words and making the shh sound! I love it!

2) 1:45 - 1:48 Doesn't she look like Jamie Foxx with a wig on?

3) 1:52 R. Kelly rhymes "window" with "5th Flo." Awesome. Plus, it's well-timed comedy in this dramatic piece. More on this later.

4) 1:58 "Quick, put me in the closet." Damn, R. How many times have you been in this situation? Don't you know that the closet is the first place he's going to look? Unless he's completely retarded?

5) 2:01 Holy shit, it was a wig!!! But now she looks like Regina King, not Jamie Foxx. This actress is versatile.

6) 2:23 Why is R. Kelly looking straight into the camera, breaking the fourth wall? Because, after all, in the last lyric, he said, "I'm telling you now, this girl is so good she deserves an Oscar." See? He's telling us. This is how we know he's telling us. He's looking at us. I wonder why the director didn't use the take of him literally telling us "this girl is so good, she deserves an Oscar." Maybe they couldn't get an Oscar for him to hold up.

7) 2:35 "But things get deeper as the story goes on." You're so clever, R.! I thought you meant "deeper" as in....well, nevermind.

8) 2:40 See my first comment on DWS' post. This is why you keep it on vibrate! At least he didn't have a ringtone. (I'm imagining "Thank Heaven For Little Girls." Ba dum bum.)

9) 2:58 "And I said 'Please, God, don't let this man open this closet.'" Good one. Notice at no point has R. said, "Please, God, grant me the strength not to cheat again because I love my wife and want to be faithful from now on to none other than her." Actually, other than one small mention in the beginning, his wife isn't more than a passing thought. Men rock!

10) 3:00 How about that! He didn't look in the closet first! Nope, first he goes and looks in the bathroom. Damn, dude, didn't you hear the phone coming from the closet? He checks under the bed. Okay, that makes sense. But where does he look next? The dresser. I thought my eyes were fooling me - except for the fact that, see point #1, R. actually mentions him checking the dresser in the lyrics. R.KELLY IS NOT IN THE DRESSER, DUDE! What, was he just looking for the cell phone? Did he maybe think that the whole mystery was that she lost her cell phone??

11) 3:24 So that's the way out of this situation? You're going to shoot him? What am I missing here?

12) 3:30-End of Video - do you ever get the feeling that maybe, at this point, he's going to the closet?


Now, despite my endless mocking of this video, I loved all three minutes and forty seconds of it. I think I found it more unintentionally funny than perhaps R. Kelly would have liked, but no matter. I'm fascinated.

So of course, the minute I got to work, I looked up R.'s website. Sure enough, there it is, "Trapped In The Closet," described as an "Urban Operetta."

After I stopped giggling, I looked up operetta on Wiki:

Operetta is often considered less "serious" than opera, although this has more to do with the generally comic plots than with the caliber of the music.

Can't argue with that! But here's the best part, as surely you have already been made aware: this is merely the first part in a five-part urban operetta!

The second video ("Trapped In The Closet (Ch. 2)," natch) is also available on the website (only in QuickTime). I highly recommend you watch it. It has a few lines/plot points that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I don't want to spoil the video so I'll put these up in white, just highlight over to see them:

1) Why does he care so much about her cheating when he's gay?

2) What about the fact that he's a pastor AND HE'S CHEATING?

3) What about the fact that he's a pastor AND HE'S GAY?

4) Did anybody else snarf their soda when R. asked if they could handle things "Christian-like?"


I don't know if R. will post "Trapped In The Closet (Ch 3-5)" on his website. Seeing as how the full urban operetta will be available on DVD with his new album (dropping this Tuesday, y'all), I doubt it. I guess I will have to download buy it when it, uh...drops.

I'm a little disturbed with how much I enjoyed this video.

Wil Wheaton Interview on /.

Wil Wheaton Strikes Back

I actually didn't see much /. content in most of these questions. Surprisingly (or perhaps not-so-surprisingly), I found a lot that is helpful and inspiring to me as an actor. Wil Wheaton is a great writer, and more importantly, seems to understand himself particularly well.

MJ's New Music Video

It's wonderful that J&J are back. I was getting tired of digging up articles... (j/k) This week has been quite hectic for me between jury duty (2 days served) work (2 more days served), and today waiting for furniture to be delivered. I've also embarked on a family genealogy project that is about 2 years in the making and that's taking up some of my extra time.

Now that the Micheal Jackson has found it's way back under a rock for hopefully another decade, I found a music video of the trial ala "Billy Jean" meets "Tell Her About It." Weird Al, we need you now more than ever...

I Didn't Cop A Feel

It also reminded me of The HisTory of Micheal Jackson's Face and see how MJ morphs from black man to white man. Some good pictures and comparison photos of The King of Pop to Judy Jetson, The Joker, and Mr. Potato Head.